


Liz's Origin Story Part 1

by RaevynNocturne



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Female Friendship, Gen, Pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29593065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RaevynNocturne/pseuds/RaevynNocturne
Summary: This is the origin of the minor character Liz, from "Weight Of Memories" and "Burden Of Remembering".
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> While I originally wrote this as the first chapter, it's so long that I'll be breaking it up into smaller chapters.

As I lean my head against the hard, metal wall, I can hear a klaxon blaring in the distance. Shift change, I think with disgust. The room we're in is getting warmer, and it's not pleasant. I wipe the sweat off my brow, and look over at my friend, lying in agony on the only bed in the room. For an alien who is better suited to extreme temperatures, to a point, even he was sweating, which made his pain that much worse. I close my eyes again, stifling a sigh, and holding back a grunt of pain of my own, and think back to the first time I ever met The Doctor.

___________________________________________________________

_I was sitting in my living room, another box of things sitting on the sofa next to me. At least it was decent out, for being mid spring. I had the main door open, and the window in the screen door open, to let in some air. It had been a year since my husband had passed away. He'd always had health problems, especially with his heart, but he tried hard to have a healthier life than he'd had before he met me. So it was a shock when he died from a heart attack. They said it was quick, and although I know he suffered briefly from the pain of the attack, he at least went fast. I'd spent a year trying to go through everything in the house, because there were things left over from his own father that we hadn't had the chance to sort through. It was rough going, and although I had help from a couple friends, I did most of it myself; no sense letting them waste their lives trying to help, although my best friend Jack kept reminding me he didn't mind._

_I sighed, and focused back on checking to make sure the box was packed enough to close and tape. As I reach for the tape gun, which had fallen to the ground (figures), I hear a strange wheezing, grinding noise, coming from outside. My eyes dart to the open door, and I grab my prosthetic, put it on, and have my husband's .45 gun in my hand before I even get to the door. As I cautiously peer outside, I'm rather surprised to see an old fashioned blue Police box, from London if I remember correctly. I wait a few seconds, but nothing happens, so I cautiously open the door, gun pointed down but ready to fire if necessary._

_"Hello?" I call out loudly, stopping at the top step on the front porch. A door opens on the box, and a strange, old man comes out, looking as perplexed as I felt. I can't help it, my "training" kicked in, so I lifted the gun, and pointed it at the man._

_"Who are you, and what are you doing here?" I ask firmly, keeping the gun trained on him. As I look back on the scene, I am filled with horror and regret, but I didn't know... The man stops, looks up at me, and his eyes widen with horror as he throws his hands up._

_"There's no need for that, I'm not here to harm you. I'm not even sure where -here- is." he says, obviously startled by my reaction. I lower the gun, but I don't relax my stance._

_"You're in West Virginia, sir."_

_"West Virginia?"_

_"Yes"_

_"As in, the United States?" he says, confused._

_"I'm pretty sure there's no other place named West Virginia in the world." I say with a smirk, which he actually returns. Then he smiles, although it doesn't quite hit his eyes. I knew then something was different about him, and not just because he looked like someone from the Victorian era had walked out of a police box. I put the safety on the gun, and slowly back up to the front door, open it, and place it on the table I know is next to the door; all whilst keeping my eyes on him, letting him see what I'm doing. He relaxes some, although I can tell he's perplexed still; I know the feeling._

_"Obviously we got off to a bad start. I apologize for that, I'm not at all used to getting visitors up here, and my husband..." I trail off, a bit of pain hitting me for a moment, "he trained me well, responding with a weapon because I'm not as capable of defending myself as he was. My name is Elizabeth," I say, putting my hands out a little in front of me, palms upward, showing I was unarmed, and entreating forgiveness for my response._

_"Hello, Elizabeth, I'm The Doctor, nice to meet you" he says softly, keeping a light smile on his face. Again, it fails to go to his eyes, and I see pain in those eyes. I know that pain, the pain of loss, sorrow, and confusion._

_"Would you care to come in? I can make you some coffee, or tea, although I only have herbal teas, and gallon sized bags for iced tea" I say as I head to the door, pausing for his response._

_"Thank you, that would be lovely. The way I'm feeling right now, I think coffee would be better. Thank you." he says, following me up onto the porch, and inside. I clear a space for him on the couch, suddenly feeling bad for the mess I've made with the stuff._

_"Sorry about the mess, I've been trying to get things sorted, boxed up, and removed or taken to the shed. It's taking longer than it should, but there's a LOT of stuff here." I remark as I head to the Keurig, to begin making coffee. As I wait a moment, after turning it on, I see the man's expression is slightly amused, but doesn't appear to be mean._

_"It's alright, I understand. I did show up out of nowhere, for which I do apologize. Like I said, I don't know why I'm here." he replies, gingerly sitting on the couch. I smile a little as he leans back against the couch, surprising covering his face, and I finally see the humor glowing in his eyes. I toddle around the tiny kitchen, loading up two coffee pods with grounds, and setting up to make his coffee._

_"How do you take your coffee? I have sugar and Splenda" I say, making a face after saying Splenda, " and I have three different kinds of creamer: regular Coffee Mate, french vanilla, and pumpkin spice"_

_He chuckles, and I look behind me to see him roll his eyes, his smile finally lighting up his whole face._

_"I don't understand the craze about pumpkin spice" he retorts, smirking._

_"Hey, don't go dissin' my pumpkin spice! I liked it long before it became a huge hit." I reply, smirking at his goofy grin. I turn back around to grab his mug, and set it down on the moveable island, then turn to look at him._

_"How do you take your coffee?"_

_"Oh, sorry, I'll take it black please"_

_I shudder visibly, which makes him chuckle softly, and bring the mug to him. He takes it, his long fingers wrapping around the small mug, and touching mine briefly._

_"I like this mug, it's lovely" he says softly, smiling as he examines the black mug, with music notes on it._

_"Yeah, I found that at a yard sale, and fell in love with it. I usually use that if I only need a little bit of coffee, or tea."_

_"Ah, then I thank you for the use of it" he says, smiling lightly, taking a sip of the coffee. I smile at his slightly shocked expression, knowing the coffee is really hot, and yet it catches us all by surprise at times. I set up my coffee, and turn to watch him as it brews, taking this time to actually look at him properly. He's tall, and very thin, almost gaunt, with an angular face, big bushy eyebrows, and surprisingly large eyes. His hands are long, and thin, and his skin appears weathered. His hair is gray and white, and surprisingly curly, making me curious whether it was soft or coarse. He looks over at me, and although he's keeping that soft smile, I swear I saw a twinkle in his eye, like maybe he heard my thoughts. I quickly turn back to the Keurig, thankful it was done, so I could concentrate on it, and make up my mug, adding some pumpkin spice flavoring to it. I make sure my thoughts are shielded, can't be too careful, and return to the overseat. As I sit down, his nostrils flare slightly, and he rolls his eyes, sighing almost dramatically, making me giggle, which makes him smile broadly. He has a beautiful smile, I noticed, with equally beautiful eyes. I just wish his smiles met his eyes, because I don't like seeing pain in others. It's part of my programming, I can't help that._

_We sit there for a few minutes, sipping our coffees quietly. I hear the sound of gunfire in the distance, and watch as his head swivels towards the door, instantly on alert._

_"Oh don't worry about that, sir, I live near a firing range. Trust me, it took a little time for me to get used to it. Not the noise so much as just that it was there, and often. Makes hearing similar sounds on off days harder to place. And, as you've already seen, we're more about our guns here than those in big cities" I remark, smirking. He looks back at me, slightly perplexed, then smiles, almost bashfully. I also know that look: he's been around gunfire before, and most likely not in a good way. I don't know how to bring his smile back, so I was grateful when one of the outdoor "community" cats jumped up against the screen door. The man was startled for a moment, then smiled big as he saw the cat, Shadow, was bouncing against the door._

_"Why hello there, little one. What's your name?" he says as he walks to the door._

_"That's Shadow, and he's a barn cat. He's essentially a community cat, belonging to no one, but being fed by many."_

_"He's a lovely cat." the man replies, watching amusedly. After a minute of that, Tiger gets bored, and wanders off, and the man sits back down on the sofa. After a final swig of his coffee, he sets the mug on the stand next to him, and looks around the room. I take a swig of my own coffee, and make the mistake of trying to breathe at the same time. I start coughing, clamping my lips hard together so I don't spew the liquid out. I can feel my face getting flushed, but I put up my hand as the man comes over quickly. Once I have caught my breath (I smirk internally at the joke), I swallow, and continue coughing._

_"Wrong pipe" I say between coughs. He sits back down, obviously worried, but also with a look of curiosity now on his face._

_"I've never seen anyone do that." he says, clearly surprised._

_"Do what?"_

_"Not spew the liquid everywhere."_

_"Ah. I trained myself not to do that, learning to clamp my jaw to prevent it, while keeping my mouth loose enough to give space for the liquid, or even food, from going down my throat." I breathe easier now, and take a quick swig of my water._

_"Well done, then."_

_"Thank you!" I reply, then lean over and release my leg. It never fails to amuse me at the shocked looks on people's faces when I remove my leg in front of them; I don't look disabled when I've got long pants on. I set the leg in front of me, and a look of almost childlike wonder suffused his face. He scoots over to the end of the couch nearest me, and reaches out his hands towards the leg, stopping to look at me, silently asking permission. I smile and nod, and he picks up the leg, examining it curiously._

_"Ok, I didn't expect that! I never even knew you had this," he says softly, wonderment evident in his voice._

_"Yeah, no one ever does. I hate to say this, but I do get a bit of a kick seeing people's reactions" I reply, chuckling. He looks up at me, an almost wicked gleam of humor in his eye._

_"A kick, huh?" he asks, holding up the leg, raising an eyebrow in obvious humor. I return the look, smiling broadly. He sets the leg down, and leans back in the couch, appearing content fot the first time since he came here. I take the last swig of my coffee, and wait. I want to see what he does, first, although the silence is a little uncomfortable now._

_"Ok. I hate to seem impatient, but is there anything I can help you with? Other than coffee? I don't really know you, nor do I know how you got here." I finally say, twiddling my thumbs, looking down at the floor in discomfort._

_"I already told you, I'm the Doctor." he says calmly. I look up at him, and a soft smile plays across his face. And while it doesn't quite meet his eyes, he doesn't look as haunted as he did initially._

_"What kind of doctor?"_

_"Eh... Not really anything, actually" he replies, once again perplexed._

_"Ok...." I say, not sure how to reply._

_"As to how I got here, well... You saw that box out there?" he points towards the garage. I nod._

_"Well, that's how."_

_"In a box..." I say, raising an eyebrow in a sarcastic manner. He smirks, clearly amused by my response._

_"Well, it only looks like a box. Would you like to see it?"_

_"Um, sure..." I say, not really sure what to think at this point. He stands, and holds his hand out to me, inviting me to take it. I grab my leg, and put it on, watching his intrigued look as I do so. I accept his hand, and he leads me outside, helping me down the ramp. I realize now he's actually watching me walk, which is not easy to do when you're right in front of me... He stops in front of the box, and pulls out a key to unlock the door. I don't see how he traveled here in a box, nor how we're both supposed to fit inside there. But, here I am, waiting to see what all the excitement is about. He opens the door, and turns to me, a gleam of excitement and amusement shining from his eyes. He leads me inside, and proceeds down a set of stairs. I stop at the top, shock rooting me in place. That's when it all clicks, I know now where I'd heard about this. We all heard the stories, the rumors, about an alien who traveled in a police box, saving the world (and supposedly the universe) from anything that threatens it, I just didn't think they were real. There was never any mention of him showing up in the US, usually only the UK, so I put it down as just an urban legend. Boy, was I wrong._

___________________________________________________________

A soft moan wakes me from my half trance introspection, and I glance over at him, curled up again in a ball, laying on his side. It's uncomfortably warm in here, making me wish I'd worn shorts instead of pants. I'd removed my T-shirt earlier, thankful for the tank top underneath; it was cold there when we first arrived, so I dressed accordingly. The Doctor was usually good about warning me about weather, so I could take precautions. That doesn't work when plans go awry. I finally realize it's too much for me, so I take my shoe off, and set it next to my prosthetic, remove my pants carefully, then take off my liner, which is covered in sweat. I make a quiet noise of disgust; sweat is not fun when you're wearing a liner. I carefully set the liner in the leg, making sure it doesn't fall over and block off air supply, hoping it'll dry soon. I look down at my pants, debating whether or not to even bother putting them back on. It's been a couple months since I started travelling with the Doctor, and we've gotten to know each other pretty well. While he's not exactly what I'd call body shy, he's not entirely comfortable with being inappropriately clothed around most people. I, on the other hand, am very body shy, feeling that I'm too fat and ugly to want to traumatize others with having to see it, which is why I wear baggy shirts and pants.

_**-Stop that, now. I've told you before, you are NOT fat, and you're most certainly NOT ugly.-**_ a voice says inside my head. I turn to look at him, curled on his side, his back to me. I hadn't realized he'd switched sides. I smirk, realizing I'd dropped my shielding around him again, so he knew what I was planning, and had shifted to give me privacy.

_**-Thank you-**_ I respond just as quietly, in my mind, with an image of a light smile, a smile I don't feel. He knows I'll never see myself as pretty, but that's part of the gentle banter between us. For someone who is supposedly against banter, he sure does use it a lot. I hear his loud snort, and chuckle. 

_**-I meant for you to hear that-**_ I say, and chuckle again. I fold up my pants, setting them beside me, placing my folded shirt on top. I glance over at the pile of clothes I'd folded for him, seeing the velvet jacket I'd come to love so dearly. I lean against the wall again, and close my eyes, returning to my thoughts.

___________________________________________________________

_I took the few stairs down to the level he's standing on, then stare at the room in wonder._

_"It really is bigger on the inside!" I say in disbelief. He grins broadly, obviously expecting that repsonse. Thinking back on it, he really was, he was used to it. I reached out to the center console, but stopped, asking him permission first. He smiles gently, and nodded, he eyes telling me everything: that was most likely the first time anyone asked permission to touch something that was essentially his. I touched it softly, feeling the power thrumming throughout not only the console, but the decking too. I looked up at the three tiers of moving gears above me, intrigued by the symbols. I looked back at him, smiling brightly, feeling like a kid in a candy shop. I'm a HUGE sci-fi fan, and seeing something like this in person is a dream come true._

_"This is.. Amazing! I'd say beautiful, but that doesn't seem quite accurate. Amazing is the best word I can come up with, and that seems insufficient." I say quietly, voice filled with awe. I hear a few computer beeps, and the Doctor chuckles softly._

_"I may not understand why I am here, but since we're both here, would you like to see the universe?"_

_"How?"_

_"This is a TARDIS: Time And Relative Dimension In Space. It can go anywhere, at any point from the beginning of the Universe itself, to the very end, and everywhere in between." he says, smiling gently, coming over to stand by me. I keep looking around, noting the bookshelves and chalkboards around the upper tier of the room. Another pain shoots through my heart, and I look down; once again, I am over thinking things. This is too much, this must be a dream. I'm a nobody, I'm nothing special, why would someone as famous, and special, as the Doctor want to have me around?_

_**-You need a Companion, that's why you're here-** a soft, very feminine voice says in my head. I look around, confused; I wasn't aware anyone else was here. He looked shocked, face draining of color slightly, eyes wide._

_"Oh, hello! I didn't know anyone else was here!" I remark brightly, curious despite my own misgivings._

_"There isn't, not like you'd understand" he says softly, then frowns and looks at the center console._

_**-I brought you here because you need someone with you, Doctor, whether you believe that or not-** _

_"Doctor, who is that?"_

_He looks at me incredulously, as though he can't believe what I just said._

_"You mean you heard her?"_

_"Um, yeah. I take it you heard her too?"_

_"Of course, but she's never talked to anyone else other than me" he says, a bit stiffly, confusion and some anger crossing his features as he glares as the console._

_**-I've never been able to speak to anyone other than you, and other Time Lords-** _

_He pauses, then slowly turns to look at me, face blank, but I can see the confusion and disbelief in his eyes. I can tell he's not sure what to make of me, to make the situation; the feeling was mutual._

__

__

_"What do you mean?" he asks softly, almost as if afraid to know the answer_

_**-She is like you, Doctor, telepathic-** the voice responds, almost chiding him._

_He blanches even more, eyes wider than I'd ever seen to that point, and he stumbles over to one of the chairs placed around the outer ring of the console. I didn't move, not sure what to do. I tend not to think about my Gifts (or curses, depending on how you look at it), so it never dawns on me that others might be able to Sense me, Sense my gifts. Obviously he'd never encountered anyone with gifts like his; or, at least, not many people, based on his reaction._

__

__

_He rubs his face, obviously thinking furiously about what was going on. He finally looks up at me, expressionless._

_"Is it true? Are you telepathic?" he asks quietly, against almost afraid to know, but the desire to know winning over the fear._

_"Well, I guess you could call it that. I don't use the word psychic, though. My telepathy is minimal at best, but that's not my primary gift."_

_"Not your primary? What is? How many gifts do you have?" he replies, stunned._

_"Healing, although it's more like energy healing than physical "lay on hands" type, which I use for a technique called Reiki. With it comes empathy. I've got a few gifts, although I never really sat down and actually counted how many." I come to a halt when I realize he's shocked to the core; that was new to me. Most people either automatically disbelieve me, or are pleasantly surprised. This is the first time I've met with disbelief that almost borders horror. I look behind me, and sit on the chair nearest me, knees together, hands knitted together, eyes down. This was it, I thought to myself, he'll ask me to leave, and I'll go back to packing up boxes. Perhaps it was for the best, I thought, I'm too much trouble to have around anyways. I sat there for a good minute before I stood, without saying a word, and headed for the door. I was paying more attention to the stairs, so didn't realize he'd stood and came up behind me, placing his hand on my shoulder. I stopped, and waited, still looking at the ground._

_"Don't leave, please. I'm sorry, I'm just not used to hearing that someone else has abilities too. You'd be surprised how rare telepathic gifts actually are in the universe." he says softly, keeping his hand on my shoulder._

_I turn to look at him, noting that he kept his hand on my shoulder, just shifting his hand slightly to accomodate for my having turned to face him. I still refused to look at him, not knowing what to do, or how to handle the situation. He lifts his hand, and raises my chin, forcing me to look at him; I look into his eyes, that I realize look a lot like mine, just with more blue. He smiles, but it's a sad smile, one that also carries a note of shame and guilt; he knows he handled this poorly, and isn't sure how to make it better, anymore than I do._

_"She is the TARDIS, the machine that we're standing in; what you hear is the very soul of the machine. Yes, it's a living machine, a bio-organic computer, if you will, so of course it has a soul. I've never dealt with this before, at least not in this body. I might have in the past, but I don't remember. So learning that she's willing and able to talk to someone else is shocking to me. But it also proves you're special, something different." He pauses, running his rough thumb lightly over my chin. His fingers are stronger than they look, but I'm not really surprised, knowing he's older than he looks, based on the stories._

_"She is partially right, though, even though I'm loathe to admit it, I do need someone with me. It's generally not safe for me to get lost in my thoughts, so it's easier having someone with me. Someone to talk to, to share in adventures with. Would you care to come with me, share in the experience?" he asks softly, smiling gently. I am indecisive, unsure what to do. I still don't feel worthy to share in something like that, but then I don't think much about myself anyways. I try to smile, but I know it's a sad, painful smile; I see his response in his eyes, the pain of understanding._

_"I'd love to, I really would. But I'm not worthy of such an honor. I'm useless. Yes, I have gifts, but they won't save my life. I'm a hazard being disabled, I'm lazy, I'm..." I am stopped when he pulls me to him, hugging me tight, surprising even me._

_"Don't you ever say that, do you hear me?" he says after a few seconds, pulling away just enough to take my face in his hands. I see the unshed tears in his eyes, and I can Feel how much my response hurt him; not for his sake, but for mine. He can't believe anyone would feel so lowly about themselves._

_"You are not useless. And I don't care that you're disabled. Well, I care, but I don't fear you being a hazard. I won't lie, it's not always safe travelling with me, and I can't always promise your safety, but I will always try to protect you." he says passionately, the pain in his voice evident, the disbelief. He didn't realize how much he missed having someone around until he met me, and his loneliness was hurting him, almost as much as my disbelief in myself. I didn't say anything, couldn't say anything, couldn't stop my own heart from hurting. Here he was, opening himself to me, and all I could think was that he could find someone MUCH better than me._

_"Tell you what, come with me one time, I'll take you anywhere. If afterwards, you're still unsure, I can always bring you back here. No obligations. But I think you need someone around as much as I do" he said softly, tilting my head back, forcing me to look into his eyes, to see the plee in them. I blinked, ashamed at the tears I felt in them, and nodded._

_"Ok. But I've got a couple things I need to do before I can go anywhere." I say, proud that I managed to keep the pain out of my voice. He releases my head, and smiles, understanding. Again I look down as I walk out, mind racing with so many thoughts. He follows me back into the house, watching as I gather up a few things, clean up some things, turn off the Keurig, and grab my phone. I signal to him to wait as I head to the bedroom to change, calling my neighbor and asking him to keep an eye on the house whilst I'm gone. I don't know how long I'll be back, but the cats shouldn't suffer as a result. Thankfully the neighbor was willing, so I finished getting dressed, threw a few key items in a bag, and came back out to the living room where he was waiting, leaning against the doorframe, hands clasped in front of him. He's rather cute for an older guy, I think privately to myself, makikng sure to shield that from him. That thought would most likely make things very awkward. I checked the pellet stove, fed the indoor cats (after watching one cat meowing at the Doctor, who was petting her with satisfaction, obviously loving her very soft fur), grabbed my water bottle, and smiled at him. I locked up once outside, and followed him into the TARDIS. That was the start of my adventures._


	2. Chapter 2

Another moan, this time filled with so much pain it broke my heart. I didn't know what to do, and that hurt me deeply. He'd been so kind to me, surprisingly patient, and full of stories. I'd learned that he really wasn't big on hugging, nor on banter, so that when he did both I was shocked. I learned of his regenerations, of his theft of the TARDIS ("Although she insists she stole me, not the other way around"), of all the companions he's had. And of all the loss. I may not have had nearly as much loss, but at least I could share a tiny bit of his pain, and I think that helped him, knowing someone else could understand. I know that, just prior to meeting me, he'd lost someone very, very dear to him, but all he could remember was vague memories. He said he could remember events, but couldn't recall details about the person he'd lost, much less how he'd lost them. I'd catch him looking at something, a strange look on his face, like it held a memory that he just couldn't quite see, couldn't touch. But I tried to help him, proving to him that I was pretty much created to be a comic relief, because his smile was so wonderful. And here I sat, recalling all our adventures, listening to him suffering a few feet from me, and knowing I couldn't help him. I heard a sniffle from him, and realized his pain had reached the point that he was crying, but trying to hide the fact. I'd had enough.

_**-Doctor, I can't do much, but there's a small chance I can, at the very least, help with some of the pain. I don't know if it'll work, or if it'll just make things worse.-** _

_**-At this point, I'm willing to try anything-**_ he replied softly, weakly, making me start to tear up myself.

_**-You know I'm willing to try, although I don't like hurting you. But...-** _

_**-But what?-** _

I hesitated, wishing I didn't have to say what I needed to say, because things were already awkward at the moment.

_**-It would involve a level of intimacy that you're not ready for. I'm not exactly ready for it, but I've learned to accept that some things must happen to help others, so I can distance myself emotionally.-** _

_**-I don't understand.-** _

I sighed, knowing how difficult this next part would be. Talking mentally was still new for me, but since talking normally was painful for him, we decided to talk mentally instead.

_**-You can't bear the feel of cloth against your skin; hell, you barely can tolerate your velvet coat. In order for me to help, I'd need to remove my tank top, and curl up against you. I can't give you enough healing by holding my hands near you, or even gently touching your back. It would require almost full body contact.-** _

There, I'd said it, and I felt my heart clinch. I was afraid; of what, I'm not entirely sure. Other than occasional hands on shoulders, or knees, he and I rarely ever touched each other. If we held hands, it was usually because we were helping each other through an area. But this was a whole different kind of touch, something that I always felt was taboo in some way, or at least unwelcomed even in thought.

I waited, sensing him consider the situation, although I was careful not to actually read his thoughts. We both knew that, if we did this, it would change our relationship in ways neither of us could comprehend. I'm a Healer, it's my job to care for others, but even I had never offered this kind of thing to anyone that I wasn't in a romantic relationship with, or at least wasn't involved with in some semi-romantic way. Had I thought about such things with the Doctor? Of course, but always carefully away from him, where he couldn't see my thoughts and the images that came with them. But they were always simple fantasies, harmless in their own way.

_****_

_**-Do it-**_ he finally said, weakly. Those two words said more to me than anyone would realize, because you can't exactly lie (easily) mind to mind. He knew the cost, knew what it cost me personally, to offer what I did. He knew that everything would change between us. He knew, and he was willing to accept the cost, even if it was emotionally painful in the end.

I nodded, knowing he'd know even if he wasn't facing me. I carefully scooted over to the bed (too much effort to put the leg on to step a few feet away), and carefully lifted myself onto the bed. I carefully dust my rump, then remove my tank top, tossing it over to my pile of clothes. I laid down on my side, carefully, and scooted closer to him. I was silently crying when he carefully moved himself against me, even allowing me to put my arm under his head. I knew it hurt him, physically, but I felt nothing from him emotionally. He'd gotten good at learning to shield, once he realized I could teach him how to do it. I put my other arm around him, ever so softly, waiting to see if he needed me to move, but although I felt him wince, he didn't say anything. I allowed more of my arm weight to rest on him, and still he said nothing, although I heard him breathing haggardly through his nose. I allowed myself a brief smile at the image of his rather large nose flaring, a little like a horse. Then I closed my eyes, and laid my head down on the pillow, and concentrated. As hot as the room was, things were about to get worse. I felt the energy as I sent it to him, full body emenations, that still surprise at its intensity. I projected not only energy, but love, hope, and laughter, hoping those would help.

After a few minutes, I felt him actually relax, and I knew the energy was in fact helping. I carefully shut down the energy output, and lay there, a little exhausted, listening to him breathe. A couple minutes later, and he was asleep, for the first time since we got here. I smiled weakly, and thought back to how we came to be in this predicament.

___________________________________________________________

_"Any new, interesting distress calls come in?" I ask, crunching down on an apple. He shot me a look, reminding me that he hated it when I talked to him with my mouth full. I just grinned, and he rolled his eyes, and sighed; this was normal for us, we tease each other about something, and then sigh._

__

_"There's also interesting distress calls, it's just a matter of which way is best to go" he remarked tartly, watching as I circled around the console. As soon as I got close enough, quick as a flash, he reached out and grabbed the apple, then took a bite of it, smiling wickedly at me._

_"Hey, give that back" I shouted, trying, unsuccessfully, to grab the apple back. He's 10 inches taller than me, a full foot with his boots on, with long arms, so it's really not hard to keep things out of reach, especially when he's being playful. You wouldn't know to look at him, especially when he's in a mood, that he's actually rather silly, almost childlike at times, and loves jokes. But he does so in private, I think to maintain his facade of aloofness._

__

_He takes another bite, absently wiping the juice off his chin, holding the apple high up in the air. Realizing there was only one way to get my apple back, I quickly lean in and tickle him, which doesn't fail to make him cry out in surprise, and lower his hand. I quickly grab my apple back, and glare at him. By this point in our friendship, neither of us really cares if we eat after each other, as weird as that sounds. Yet another thing we do in private, because it is a little weird at times. But I move away from him, still glaring, and take another bite of the apple. He snickers, and goes back to looking at the monitor. The first time I called it a view screen, he gave me such a strange look that I googled Star Trek, and showed him. Granted, the monitors are much too small to be a proper view screen, but he liked the idea so much that he started calling them view screens too. Score one point for the gnerk!_

__

_"Oh hello... What are you?" he says softly, looking at the screen. I, having moved to the top tier, moved around to stand essentially behind him, trying to see the screen. I can see it, but I don't know what he's looking at. As though realizing this, he points to a tiny dot on the screen, and it enlarges. I have no idea what any of the data on the screen means, so I wait patiently for him to finish reviewing it._

__

_"Huh, it doesn't really explain. It's just a basic distress call. What do you think?" he asks, looking back (literally by leaning backwards, holding onto the console so he doesn't fall backwards), up at me. He looks so silly when he does that, that I chuckle, which makes him smile, our mock fight forgotten._

__

_"If there's no info, then it's either an old signal, or a trap."_

__

_"Oooo, we haven't walked into a good, old fashioned..."_

__

_"Oh no you don't. I'm still nervous at night from the last one." I say, cutting him off, shuddering visibly. He laughs, and looks back at the monitor. He types something into the keyboard, most likely trying to get some information. At which point, one of my gifts kicks in..._

__

_"It's a space station" we both say, at the same time, which causes us both to laugh and smile. While that's not common, it happens often enough for us to be used to it. He knows I have access to information he doesn't, and while it bothered him at first, he's come to learn how invaluable it truly is._

__

_"I'm not getting anything else, though. Don't suppose you can get a picture of the station? Maybe something around the area?"_

__

_"I can do you one better"_

__

_"Oh goody...." I say, rolling my eyes, and walking back down to the main level. I absently hand him the apple, which he takes without comment and bites into, as I look at the monitor. The TARDIS sounds up, and I know we've moved into the space near the station. Recon the outside before we move inside, that's something I had to convince him of after the third "adventure" left us nearing literally almost burnt to death. Once the groaning sound stops, we both head for the door. He looks at me, excited; of course he's excited, he still has something of a "devil may care" attitude about distress calls. Me, I'm worried, but that's just me. He opens the door, and we peer outside. It's a space station, a lot of them look like they were all rolled out of the same factory. I once called one a cookie cutter station, and that name has stuck ever since._

__

_"Basic cookie cutter form. A little surprising considering this was once a big mining planet" he remarks, apparently recognizing the planet below. I remember the first time I did this, looking outside the TARDIS at a planet; I don't fear heights, but that was not something I was ready for. The anxiety didn't last long, thankfully, and now I do it without a second thought._

__

_"Well, the question is this: was the station built before, during, or after the mining?"_

__

_"Ooo, that is a good question" he praises me. I'm not as smart as him, no human is, but I've learned enough from books, video games, and him that I can sometimes ask the right questions. Maybe that's why he's so patient with me._

_*THWACK*_

__

_I glare at him as he lightly smacks my arm, and I put my shields back up._

_"Focus"_

__

_We look over the station, trying to see if we can get any info from the outside, but I know we won't. And just as I think that, I also know we shouldn't go to the surface of the planet. I can't explain why I feel that way, but I do. I look at him, the concern, even fear, shining out of my eyes. When he sees that, he knows something's wrong._

__

_"Do you feel that?" I ask him, softly, as though afraid something will hear us, something we don't want to have know we exist. He looks at me strangely._

__

_"Feel what?"_

__

_"We can't go to the surface. I don't know why, but I feel that would be a really bad idea."_

__

_We've also gotten to the point in our friendship that he's learned to trust my instincts. Neither of us knows fully how my Gifts actually work, but they're good enough to have saved us time and again. He touches my shoulder, squeezing it gently, letting me know, without words, that he understands, and that he supports my feelings. I move back inside the TARDIS, thoughts racing. I get nothing from the station, which in and of itself is worrying; if there were people there, I should've gotten something. Just as I realize that, I spin to look at him, only to see him shake his head. Great minds think alike. That should scare you..._

__

_"Let's pop down for a quick look. If we don't see anything, we'll leave, ok?" he offers. I know he'd love to see what's going on, but he's not willing to risk me in case something really bad is waiting. Part of me doesn't want to go, but a bigger part is curious._

__

_"Let's go. But let's be prepared. You may not like weapons, but I feel better with them, so I'll bring my knife, if that's ok." He nods, a little sadly, but he knows better than to argue. It's not a big knife, better for cutting through cloth or rope, not really hurting someone. I head to my room, grabbing my knife, and my multitool ("why do you need that? I have my sonic screwdriver, it's so much more useful"), and meet him back in the main room. He tosses me a small earpiece, meant to sit in the ear for easier communication, and sends the TARDIS down inside the station. Staying away from the door, I allow him to enter first, so he can take scans of the air._

__

_"It's safe. Musty, but breathable." he calls out, so I head out. Locking the door behind me, we both head down the hallways._


	3. Chapter 3

Another moan, this time filled with so much pain it broke my heart. I didn't know what to do, and that hurt me deeply. He'd been so kind to me, surprisingly patient, and full of stories. I'd learned that he really wasn't big on hugging, nor on banter, so that when he did both I was shocked. I learned of his regenerations, of his theft of the TARDIS ("Although she insists she stole me, not the other way around"), of all the companions he's had. And of all the loss. I may not have had nearly as much loss, but at least I could share a tiny bit of his pain, and I think that helped him, knowing someone else could understand. I know that, just prior to meeting me, he'd lost someone very, very dear to him, but all he could remember was vague memories. He said he could remember events, but couldn't recall details about the person he'd lost, much less how he'd lost them. I'd catch him looking at something, a strange look on his face, like it held a memory that he just couldn't quite see, couldn't touch. But I tried to help him, proving to him that I was pretty much created to be a comic relief, because his smile was so wonderful. And here I sat, recalling all our adventures, listening to him suffering a few feet from me, and knowing I couldn't help him. I heard a sniffle from him, and realized his pain had reached the point that he was crying, but trying to hide the fact. I'd had enough.

**__** __

_**-Doctor, I can't do much, but there's a small chance I can, at the very least, help with some of the pain. I don't know if it'll work, or if it'll just make things worse.-** _

**__**

**_-At this point, I'm willing to try anything-_** he replied softly, weakly, making me start to tear up myself.

**__** __

_**-You know I'm willing to try, although I don't like hurting you. But...-** _

**__** __

_**-But what?-** _

I hesitated, wishing I didn't have to say what I needed to say, because things were already awkward at the moment.

**__** __

_**-It would involve a level of intimacy that you're not ready for. I'm not exactly ready for it, but I've learned to accept that some things must happen to help others, so I can distance myself emotionally.-**_ **__**

**_-I don't understand.-_ **

I sighed, knowing how difficult this next part would be. Talking mentally was still new for me, but since talking normally was painful for him, we decided to talk mentally instead.

**__** __

_**-You can't bear the feel of cloth against your skin; hell, you barely can tolerate your velvet coat. In order for me to help, I'd need to remove my tank top, and curl up against you. I can't give you enough healing by holding my hands near you, or even gently touching your back. It would require almost full body contact.-** _

There, I'd said it, and I felt my heart clinch. I was afraid; of what, I'm not entirely sure. Other than occasional hands on shoulders, or knees, he and I rarely ever touched each other. If we held hands, it was usually because we were helping each other through an area. But this was a whole different kind of touch, something that I always felt was taboo in some way, or at least unwelcomed even in thought.

I waited, sensing him consider the situation, although I was careful not to actually read his thoughts. We both knew that, if we did this, it would change our relationship in ways neither of us could comprehend. I'm a Healer, it's my job to care for others, but even I had never offered this kind of thing to anyone that I wasn't in a romantic relationship with, or at least wasn't involved with in some semi-romantic way. Had I thought about such things with the Doctor? Of course, but always carefully away from him, where he couldn't see my thoughts and the images that came with them. But they were always simple fantasies, harmless in their own way.

**__** __

_**-Do it-**_ he finally said, weakly. Those two words said more to me than anyone would realize, because you can't exactly lie (easily) mind to mind. He knew the cost, knew what it cost me personally, to offer what I did. He knew that everything would change between us. He knew, and he was willing to accept the cost, even if it was emotionally painful in the end.

I nodded, knowing he'd know even if he wasn't facing me. I carefully scooted over to the bed (too much effort to put the leg on to step a few feet away), and carefully lifted myself onto the bed. I carefully dust my rump, then remove my tank top, tossing it over to my pile of clothes. I laid down on my side, carefully, and scooted closer to him. I was silently crying when he carefully moved himself against me, even allowing me to put my arm under his head. I knew it hurt him, physically, but I felt nothing from him emotionally. He'd gotten good at learning to shield, once he realized I could teach him how to do it. I put my other arm around him, ever so softly, waiting to see if he needed me to move, but although I felt him wince, he didn't say anything. I allowed more of my arm weight to rest on him, and still he said nothing, although I heard him breathing haggardly through his nose. I allowed myself a brief smile at the image of his rather large nose flaring, a little like a horse. Then I closed my eyes, and laid my head down on the pillow, and concentrated. As hot as the room was, things were about to get worse. I felt the energy as I sent it to him, full body emenations, that still surprise at its intensity. I projected not only energy, but love, hope, and laughter, hoping those would help.

After a few minutes, I felt him actually relax, and I knew the energy was in fact helping. I carefully shut down the energy output, and lay there, a little exhausted, listening to him breathe. A couple minutes later, and he was asleep, for the first time since we got here. I smiled weakly, and thought back to how we came to be in this predicament.

______________________________________________________

__

_"Any new, interesting distress calls come in?" I ask, crunching down on an apple. He shot me a look, reminding me that he hated it when I talked to him with my mouth full. I just grinned, and he rolled his eyes, and sighed; this was normal for us, we tease each other about something, and then sigh._

__

_"There's also interesting distress calls, it's just a matter of which way is best to go" he remarked tartly, watching as I circled around the console. As soon as I got close enough, quick as a flash, he reached out and grabbed the apple, then took a bite of it, smiling wickedly at me._

__

_"Hey, give that back" I shouted, trying, unsuccessfully, to grab the apple back. He's 10 inches taller than me, a full foot with his boots on, with long arms, so it's really not hard to keep things out of reach, especially when he's being playful. You wouldn't know to look at him, especially when he's in a mood, that he's actually rather silly, almost childlike at times, and loves jokes. But he does so in private, I think to maintain his facade of aloofness._

__

_He takes another bite, absently wiping the juice off his chin, holding the apple high up in the air. Realizing there was only one way to get my apple back, I quickly lean in and tickle him, which doesn't fail to make him cry out in surprise, and lower his hand. I quickly grab my apple back, and glare at him. By this point in our friendship, neither of us really cares if we eat after each other, as weird as that sounds. Yet another thing we do in private, because it is a little weird at times. But I move away from him, still glaring, and take another bite of the apple. He snickers, and goes back to looking at the monitor. The first time I called it a view screen, he gave me such a strange look that I googled Star Trek, and showed him. Granted, the monitors are much too small to be a proper view screen, but he liked the idea so much that he started calling them view screens too. Score one point for the gnerk!_

__

_"Oh hello... What are you?" he says softly, looking at the screen. I, having moved to the top tier, moved around to stand essentially behind him, trying to see the screen. I can see it, but I don't know what he's looking at. As though realizing this, he points to a tiny dot on the screen, and it enlarges. I have no idea what any of the data on the screen means, so I wait patiently for him to finish reviewing it._

__

_"Huh, it doesn't really explain. It's just a basic distress call. What do you think?" he asks, looking back (literally by leaning backwards, holding onto the console so he doesn't fall backwards), up at me. He looks so silly when he does that, that I chuckle, which makes him smile, our mock fight forgotten._

__

__

_"Oooo, we haven't walked into a good, old fashioned.."_

__

_"Oh no you don't. I'm still nervous at night from the last one." I say, cutting him off, shuddering visibly. He laughs, and looks back at the monitor. He types something into the keyboard, most likely trying to get some information. At which point, one of my gifts kicks in..._

__

_"It's a space station" we both say, at the same time, which causes us both to laugh and smile. While that's not common, it happens often enough for us to be used to it. He knows I have access to information he doesn't, and while it bothered him at first, he's come to learn how invaluable it truly is._

__

_"I'm not getting anything else, though. Don't suppose you can get a picture of the station? Maybe something around the area?"_

__

_"I can do you one better"_

__

_"Oh goody...." I say, rolling my eyes, and walking back down to the main level. I absently hand him the apple, which he takes without comment and bites into, as I look at the monitor. The TARDIS sounds up, and I know we've moved into the space near the station. Recon the outside before we move inside, that's something I had to convince him of after the third "adventure" left us nearing literally almost burnt to death. Once the groaning sound stops, we both head for the door. He looks at me, excited; of course he's excited, he still has something of a "devil may care" attitude about distress calls. Me, I'm worried, but that's just me. He opens the door, and we peer outside. It's a space station, a lot of them look like they were all rolled out of the same factory. I once called one a cookie cutter station, and that name has stuck ever since._

__

_"Basic cookie cutter form. A little surprising considering this was once a big mining planet" he remarks, apparently recognizing the planet below. I remember the first time I did this, looking outside the TARDIS at a planet; I don't fear heights, but that was not something I was ready for. The anxiety didn't last long, thankfully, and now I do it without a second thought._

__

_"Well, the question is this: was the station built before, during, or after the mining?"_

__

_"Ooo, that is a good question" he praises me. I'm not as smart as him, no human is, but I've learned enough from books, video games, and him that I can sometimes ask the right questions. Maybe that's why he's so patient with me._

****

**_*THWACK*_ **

__

_I glare at him as he lightly smacks my arm, and I put my shields back up._

__

_"Focus"_

__

_We look over the station, trying to see if we can get any info from the outside, but I know we won't. And just as I think that, I also know we shouldn't go to the surface of the planet. I can't explain why I feel that way, but I do. I look at him, the concern, even fear, shining out of my eyes. When he sees that, he knows something's wrong._

__

_"Do you feel that?" I ask him, softly, as though afraid something will hear us, something we don't want to have know we exist. He looks at me strangely._

__

_"Feel what?"_

__

_"We can't go to the surface. I don't know why, but I feel that would be a really bad idea."_

__

_We've also gotten to the point in our friendship that he's learned to trust my instincts. Neither of us knows fully how my Gifts actually work, but they're good enough to have saved us time and again. He touches my shoulder, squeezing it gently, letting me know, without words, that he understands, and that he supports my feelings. I move back inside the TARDIS, thoughts racing. I get nothing from the station, which in and of itself is worrying; if there were people there, I should've gotten something. Just as I realize that, I spin to look at him, only to see him shake his head. Great minds think alike. That should scare you..._

__

_"Let's pop down for a quick look. If we don't see anything, we'll leave, ok?" he offers. I know he'd love to see what's going on, but he's not willing to risk me in case something really bad is waiting. Part of me doesn't want to go, but a bigger part is curious._

__

"Let's go. But let's be prepared. You may not like weapons, but I feel better with them, so I'll bring my knife, if that's ok." He nods, a little sadly, but he knows better than to argue. It's not a big knife, better for cutting through cloth or rope, not really hurting someone. I head to my room, grabbing my knife, and my multitool ("why do you need that? I have my sonic screwdriver, it's so much more useful"), and meet him back in the main room. He tosses me a small earpiece, meant to sit in the ear for easier communication, and sends the TARDIS down inside the station. Staying away from the door, I allow him to enter first, so he can take scans of the air. __

__

____

_"It's safe. Musty, but breathable." he calls out, so I head out. Locking the door behind me, we both head down the hallways._


	4. Chapter 4

A whimper wakes me from my half trance, alerting me to the fact that he's in pain again. I can't tell if he's awake or not, so I very carefully pull my body away, leaving my arm under his head. He's not entirely awake, but he pulls away from me as I move, so I gently pull my arm back, grimacing as the pins and needles blast down to my hand. That's the worst thing about having such a sensitive body, simple things hurt more than they should. I stifle the cry of pain as I carefully bend and extend my arm, trying to relieve the pain. Glancing over at him, making sure my movements won't jar him, I carefully sit up. Seeing no evidence of him waking as a result of my moving, I carefully lower myself to the floor, bumping my way back to my clothes. I put the tanktop on, but leave the rest off. 

________________________________________________________

__

_We follow the hallways, following signs that tell us where the command center should be located. Once we finally make it there, after several sets of stairs (and a lot of grumbling from both of us), the locked door is nothing the sonic can't open. We go in, and start looking around. I don't know much about computers, but he's been teaching me how to access most computers, so I work on getting files on the main computer, while he goes through the security cameras._

_"I'm not having any luck here, Doctor. I can't get in" I say quietly, frustrated that I'm not good enough yet to do that. I can feel a very brief sense of frustration from him, but I know it's more that he often has to do more than I think he'd like. I let him feel it, I don't blame him. I feel bad that I let him down again, and am surprised when I feel his hand on my arm. He looks at me, head tilted ever so slightly to the side, but I see the worry in his eyes. I think he knows I felt the flash of emotion, and he's worried that I'll end up back down the well worn rut of mental thinking I always do when I feel worthless. We don't say anything, although I pat his hand, moving away so he can deal with the computers. The downside to my gifts, it's hard for us to remember to shield in situations like this, because we rely on our gifts. I put my shield up as tight as I can, and think to myself that I wish I wasn't as sensitive emotionally, that I wish I could be as cold as he can be. I miss it, the coldness within, the aloofness; not from him, but from myself._

_Several minutes later, as I'm spinning in one of the chairs (nothing else to do), he finally exclaims loudly._

_"Ah ha! Found something. Look" he says, pointing to one of the monitors. Pirates. Invading. Ok, no surprise there. The slaughter, however, is surprisingly brutal. Knowing the Doctor as I do now, I'm surprised when even he looked sickened, even to the point of looking away. I keep watching, forcing myself to watch._

_"There! Stop the tape" I exclaim, and he does so. I indicate to rewind, and then to pause the screen. There. I point to the shoulder patch on one of the pirates' jackets, and he moves in to look. And his face hardens. I don't like that look, I've seen it before. Bad things tend to happen when he goes cold and hard like that. I look up at him, expectantly, but he says nothing. He pushes play, and continues to watch, eyes shadowed and dark. Once the tape stops, he pulls up more logs, watching on another screen. I continue to look at the screen, where we see a guy point at the camera to shoot it. Something about that man's face seems eerily familiar, and I am filled with dread. I don't know how that's possible, I don't think I've seen him before._

_"They're a deadly mercenary group, picking up soldiers that are disenchanted with their militaries and governments. Known simply as The Wolves, they prey on ships and stations, killing any who stand in their way. They will rape women, even little girls, and take them as breeding bodies. They kill the others." he says, his voice as cold as the vacuum as space. I gulp. I don't fear the pirates, I fear him, his voice. I know something bad will happen, and it's not going to be pretty. I throttle the thought that tries to follow that, not even wanting to consider it, because it's not warranted yet._

_I pull my knife out, stand, and nod at him, following in his wake. The Doctor is back. Not the kindly man who shares my love of the beauty of the universe, but the warrior who has had to make choices he didn't like, make sacrifices in order to preserve the peace. "If we can save even one, it's worth the pain and suffering" he once told me, and I agree. But that doesn't make it any easier._

_We spent several hours going through the station, gathering the bodies, leaving them in the gym we found. It was gruesome work, but it had to be done. I rested where I could, but I refused to let him do it all, or even most of it. I know I was lagging, but I kept on pushing, grinding my teeth in pain, but not saying a word. After I'd cleared one room, a barracks room for the security guards, I sat down on large armchair I'd found in the barracks, and shut my eyes for a moment. I heard his footsteps coming in, and I waved behind me._

_"I'll be along in a moment. I'm just taking a quick breather..."_

  


_I woke up several hours later. I couldn't be angry with him, even though I wanted to be. He's only twice put me to sleep, and both times because of extenuating circumstances. I guess this made a third, then. I shifted a little, and was startled to find I had been wrapped up in an old blanket, which was tucked in around me. I smiled wanly, finding it sweet that he thought of that, even during this horror. I grabbed my leg, put it on, and stood, moving as soon as I heard the first click of the bolt engaging. I folded the blanket, leaving it on the chair, and went out in search of him. I stopped a couple steps outside the door, and went back for the blanket, thinking it might come in handy later. I headed to the mess hall, where we had both agreed to meet up after we'd finished an area. I could smell freshly brewed coffee, and smiled softly; he was thoughtful that way. I was, therefor, surprised when I found him in an armchair in the hall, asleep. I glanced around, opening my ears to anything that didn't belong. I was wary, because the coffee had been brewed far too recently for him to have done it, and there wasn't the handy timer on those. I tucked the blanket in around him, as he had done for me, and quietly did a recon of the room. Finding nothing, I went into the kitchen itself, looking for anything out of place, and also to look for food. Something wasn't right, and I couldn't figure out what it was, and that worried me. I gathered some simple supplies, peanut butter and jelly, some crisps (I still don't get why they call chips crisps, and french fries chips, but that's another story), and went back into the hall. I didn't see anything wrong, but I knew as soon as I stepped into the room, something was very wrong. I placed the food next to his chair, and gently touched his shoulder, and his mind. I heard him take a deep breathe, and I squeezed his shoulder, warning him silently to remain silent. I was too late..._

_The pirates had chameleon armor, that's why we couldn't see them, nor would the sensors detect them. I have to admit, it's rather ingenious, I was almost jealous. But I was too busy being attacked from behind. It didn't take much to subdue me, I'm puny for a human. But I was shocked at how little it took to subdue the Doctor. They bound and gagged us, which wouldn't have bothered me, but I can't walk well with me hands behind me. So, once they sat me down, I disengaged my leg, and pulled my hands in front of me. It was almost worth it to see the slightly shocked look on the Doctor's face when I did it; apparently, I'd never shown him how agile I really was. Unfortunately, I couldn't as easily get out of the ropes binding our hands; had it been handcuffs, no problem._

_"Hey, how'd you do that?" a harsh voice demanded from behind me. My head was grasped (which was hard to do, I'd just cut my hair short before this trip), and my head snapped back to look at a very angry... Thing... I think it was male, it sounded male, but it was even more alien than I'm used to dealing with. I mumbled, unable to really talk with my gag, and he ripped it down._

_"I'm just a little more agile than I look. I took my leg off, see, it's right here next to me, and pulled my arms in front of me. I can't run, but I have a good deal of trouble walking with my hands behind me" I waited, knowing I'd get hit; I didn't wait long. The growl I heard from the Doctor was pretty surprising, and I swear he looked like he'd bullrush the guy. I shook my head, feeling blood running down out of my nose. Lovely. I blinked, and waited for the sparkles to fade from my eyes. Those are stars, they're like glitter stuck in your eyes, and it's annoying..._

_I heard a commotion to my right, and saw another man backhand the guy that hit me; the guy flew across the room. I became deathly afraid. The man didn't even use much pressure, and sent the other flying across the room. And it's not a small room. I was filled with even deeper fear and dread, when I picked up fear coming from the Doctor himself. What he was afraid of, I don't know, but it's never good when he feels it. Concern for any travelling companion, sure, but never fear. I heard some terse words from behind me, but couldn't understand what they were saying. I looked up at the Doctor in shock, wanting to know if he understood them. His eyes told me that yes, he knew, and that he'd somehow managed to remove the translation matrix around us. Why, I don't know, but that worried me even more. I sighed, slumped my shoulders, and waited. And waited. I noticed the clock on the wall, and counted. A full thirty minutes passed before either of us was spoken to, and when I made my first mistake. At least only one other person knew about it. I looked into the mind of the leader, a hulking brute with dark blue scales, and ivory horns and spikes. The Doctor's gag was removed, and they spent a couple minutes arguing in whatever raspy, harsh language it was; it was almost like listening to a cross between Russian and German, it was guttural. Close to the end of the conversation, the mood changed, and the Doctor looked truly afraid for something. He kept looking at me, and pleading, but it didn't seem to help._

_**-It's not worth you knowing what he's saying, trust me.-** the Doctor sent to me, telepathically._

_I looked into the guy's mind, and saw the last thing I really wanted to see, the reason they were arguing me. I'll spare the details, it wasn't pretty. The gag was replaced on both of us, and the leader took out some kind of vial of something out of a jacket, which he handed to a little guy that was the shade of amber, and almost as shiny as a piece of smoothed amber. The small man stuck the vial is what I assume was some kind of hypospray, and injected it into the Doctor, who just looked up at the man with a look of incredulous scorn, and snorted. I smiled, knowing that they had made an error; very few things would effect the Doctor because of his unique physiology. Well, it's unique to many of the aliens in the universe, at least. Rough hands grabbed me, pulling me up, and pushing me into movement. At least I was somewhat ready for that, so I didn't fall and make things worse. I kept quiet, and did what they wanted me to do. That was a lesson I learned early on with the Doctor: don't do anything that'll make you an even bigger target. We were both pushed down the hall, towards what I believed was the prison section. By the time we entered the area for the cells, I noticed the Doctor looked uncomfortable, kept shifting the neck of his jacket. After a glare from one of the guys pushing us, he stopped shifting, although I could tell he wasn't doing well. Curious. It wasn't hot, and although the air was a little stale, it wasn't that bad. So what could be causing him to be so uncomfortable. We were stopped in front of a small room, and patted down. All of our things where taken, all but our clothes at least. Our binds were removed, and we were shoved into the small room. It had a stool, a small fireplace, and a simple bed that looked like it might be full sized, but I couldn't tell. There were no sheets on the bed, no blankets, nothing. The door was locked behind us, to which the Doctor stood there, shouting what I believe were obscenities (I am curious where he learned a few of those, once he translated what he was saying), for sevearl minutes. I sat on the stool, after realizing there was little else in the room._

_"Stuck in here, without any weapons, and no sonic. Now what do we do?" he asked, reaching up to unbutton the top button on his shirt. That alone was surprising, he's usually pickier than that about his shirts._

_"Any idea what they injected you with?"_

_"No, and that bothers me," he said, distractedly, itching his chest slightly._

_"Are you ok?"_

_"Not really. My skin itches, and I don't know why," he replied, sounding annoyed. I hope he wasn't annoyed that I ask, but I wasn't going to ask if he was. I'd learned the hard way his tongue is as sharp as mine when irritated, and he gets annoyed easier than I do. That was a lesson I'd learned long before I'd ever met him, from my husband: sometimes it's easier to keep your mouth shut than to risk poking the bear. I watched as the Doctor started flexing his hands, looking at them strangely. There was no glowy light coming from them, so whatever was going on, it hadn't initiated his regen response._

_"If you're feeling uncomfortable, would it help removing your jackets?" I asked calmly. He looked at me, from under his "attack eyebrows" as he jokingly called them, like as though what I'd just said was stupid. He looked down, then straightened, shrugged, and removed his velvet jacket and hoodie, leaving his vest and shirt on. I held out my hand to him, and he gave me both jackets, which I folded up carefully, and handed them back to him. He accepted them back, and sat them on the bed, sitting himself on it as well. We didn't say anything, there was really nothing to say. We must have sat there for an hour before things got... Strange. Bad. Horrifying even. He started shifting around more and more, obviously in discomfort, but he wouldn't talk to me, tried even hiding his pain from me. Sweet man that he is, but he's more stubborn than even I am. He got up and walked around, flexing his hands the whole time. He picked that up from me, watching me do that when I am in pain, so I knew that whatever was going on, it wasn't pleasant. There wasn't much I could do to help, so I kept quiet. If he needed something, he knew he could ask me, and I'd do anything for him. But it had to be on his terms._

_"I don't know what's going on, Liz, but whatever they gave me, it's made my skin itch and ache. It's like even my clothes are uncomfortable. I've never experienced anything like this before, in any incarnation." he said finally, pain suffusing his voice. I listened, and a sinking feeling came to mind. That sounded familiar, something I've dealt with a lot._

_"Like as though your skin has a bad sunburn on it? Can't stand anything touching them?" I ask, hoping, praying, that wasn't the case._

_"Yes, actually. How'd you guess?" he replied, a little shocked that I'd figured it out._

_"Because I have that exact problem. Super hypersensitivity. Mine's in my back, between my shoulder blades. There are times when I can't stand even a light touch there, it causes me to arch my back, and takes a while to calm down. It's nerve damage, in my case. So it sounds like whatever they gave you is hyper stimulating the nerves in your body."_

_"That makes sense, and sounds like what's going on. How do you handle it?"_

_"Barely..." I said caustically, but it made him smirk, which was the goal._

_"You know what I mean."_

_"If I can, I try to use something to overstimulate the nerves. Sometimes it's using a back scratcher, or having someone scratch hard around that area until my back relaxes. It's unpleasant at best. If I can't do that, I have to wait until my back relaxes first, then scratch at it. Unfortunately, that won't work for you, it would be too painful. If it was a small area, it would work, but not full body" I said, looking sadly at him. He smiled, then sighed, leaning back against the head of the bed. I started hearing a strange, light pitched humming sound, but couldn't figure out what was causing it. So I looked up, and at the corners of the room where four cameras I hadn't realized where there. They must have been turned on recently, otherwise I'd've heard them sooner._

__

_"What is it?" he rasped, pain making his voice huskier than usual. I looked down at him, then pointed up at the ceiling, and at the corners._

__

__

__

_"Cameras. They must've just been turned on, because I didn't hear them sooner."_

__

_"Wait, you can hear cameras?" he asked, surprised at that._

__

_"Well, sort of. It's more like how I feel thunder in the distance: it's not a matter of hear, but feel the vibrations. In this case, I sort of hear the electronic humming sound. I know you can hear them, but I think I'm one of few (that I know of) who can tell when certain electronics are turned on."_

__

_"Eh, it's a little more common than you realize, but still not common for all that. Well done!"_

__

_I smirk, but don't reply back, instead looking at each camera. I suddenly gave the camera closest to me the middle finger, deciding that if they wanted a show, they'd get one, just not the one they wanted._

__

_"They must have timed it just right if they turned them on recently" I remarked, ignoring the snort he gave me after seeing what I'd done._

__

_"That would be a valid assumption. But the question is why? What's the point? And how'd they know how long it would take?"_

__

_"Trial and error?"_

__

_"Or inside help.." he trailed off, looking up at me at the same time I looked up at him._

__

_"That means they had access to another Gallifreyan. Because you once told me that not all Gallifreyans are Time Lords, and not all Time Lords are Gallifreyan. So how'd they know it would even work on you? And why not give it to me, too?" I asked, suddenly very afraid to know the answer. He looked at me helplessly, apparently just as afraid of the answer as I was. I got up from the the stool, and gently sat down next to him. I knew he needed support for all of this, and that he wouldn't ask. So I sat there, until he finally reached out and took my hand, holding it folded in his. I knew it hurt him physically to do that, but we both needed the comfort that simple touch provided. After a few minutes sitting like that, he started to pull his hand away, but I brought his hand up and gently kissed the top of it. I released his hand and stood, returning the smile he gave me after I stood. I returned to my stool, knowing there was nothing more I could do to help him._

  
__

_Two more hours passed, by which time the discomfort had grown to pain. The hypersensitivity, which was akin to being blasted with sand during a sandstorm, was worse, but it appeared to have leveled out (or so we thought, at the time). He tried to lay on the bed, but that only made it worse. I'd already helped him remove his boots, because they were causing his feet to hurt more than was normal. It made it slightly easier to lay on the bed, but not by much. I'd convinced him to at least unbutton his vest, though he wouldn't take it off, stubborn old man. We hadn't really talked much, and after a while, talking was difficult for him. Seeing him in that much pain hurt me, because I couldn't help him. All I wanted to do was hold him, take his pain into me, free him from this whole situation. But I couldn't. And I felt helpless. I wonder if that's how he feels around some of his other companions, dragging them into situations he can't rescue them from._

__

_"Doctor, please, reconsider what I said about your clothing. I know you don't like the idea, but it will be easier on your skin." Silence. I didn't expect anything, to be honest. I waited. A minute later I tried again._

__

_"At the very least, remove your shirt. There's more nerves on your torso than on your legs, you know that..."_

_****_ ****

**_-No-_ **

__

_"But Doctor.."_

_**-What part of NO don't you understand?-** _

_****_

_**-Stop being so damned stubborn, old man. Trust me when I say it will help. Unless you WANT to suffer, in which case, by all means, keep suffering. Or put you jackets back on, add more to the suffering-** I retorted, hurting, hating myself that I hurt him by my response._

__

_I wish I could say I couldn't help it, but the truth is, I could've just let it go. But I couldn't let it go. Not really. I loved him, he was one of my best friends. First and foremost, he was my friend, anything else after that was inconsequential. I leaned against the wall, having moved to sit down after realizing how uncomfortable that stool was for me. I didn't bother to stop the tears, although I did everything to prevent any sound from escaping. I threw my shields up, not wanting him to hear my thoughts, not wanting to hear his. I was so busy trying not to whimper out loud that I failed to hear him stand up from the bed. It wasn't until he touched my shoulder that I jumped, and saw him squatting down next to me. He moved his hand away, and I saw it was shaking, but I was frozen, I didn't know what to do. He gently grabbed my hand, putting it against his chest, although he grimaced in pain._

_****_

_**-I'm sorry, Liz. You're right. And I know you didn't mean to hurt me, but it did still hurt. But I think it was your shielding against me that hurt the worst-** he said, softly, and I could see the deep pain in his eyes. That wasn't physical pain, that was emotional pain. I started crying more, hating to see that in him. He reached out with his other hand, and gently cupped my face, trying to smile for me, but being in too much physical pain._

_****_

_**-Please, I need your help. I can't undo the buttons.-** he said, almost pleading with me. I knew he hated asking for help, almost as much as he hated being helpless. I wiped my tears, and helped him unbotton and remove his shirt and vest carefully. He groaned as I helped him out of the sleeves, then gingerly made his way back to the bed, and laid down, shifting over several times before deciding to stay on his side, back to me. Grabbing his shirt and vest, and, standing very carefully, made my way over to his pile of clothes, laying them down on top. As I turned to head back to my little corner, I felt his hand grab mine, and turned to see him reaching behind him to grab my hand. He gently tugged on my hand, so I sat on the bed next to him, careful not to shift the mattress too much. In a move so unlike him that I almost moved away, he set my hand on his hip, keeping his own on top of mine. I waited, stunned, then realized he was doing that because that was most likely the spot of the least amount of pain. One thing people don't realize about the Doctor: he's more like us than he lets on. Yes he's got two hearts, two or three brain stems, and a load of other weird internal things that are different. But in the end, he's still essentially the same. He still needs comfort just like a human, and I wasn't going to deny him that comfort._<)p> _****_

_**-Thank you for helping me. You're one of few people I could trust to even see me like this-** _

_****_

_**-What, half naked?-** I asked, chuckling. I was rewarded with a snort, although I knew he was amused. That's me, the universe's comic relief._

_****_ ****

**_-No, smartarse, vulnerable. You know I don't like being helpless, anymore than I like asking for help. That's just not me. I'm glad I can rely on you for help.-_ **

_****_

_**-I'm glad too, Doctor-** I thought softly, briefly caressing his help with my thumb. I didn't do it for long, just a couple times. Not because it was painful, but because that was a little weird, even to me. I sat there, quietly, waiting to see if he'd do anything else, or say more. I could smell him, this close to him. I couldn't do that often, we never sat still long enough. He knew I could do it though, and I think it amused him greatly. It's not even that special, anyone can recognize someone by scent. He smelled faintly of spices, fragrant, alien, and metal. Yeah, that was from the sonic, but the spicy smell was unusual._

__

_He finally moved his hand around, curling up into a ball, pulling taut his muscles and skin. I looked at his back, marvelling at the play of his muscles as he breathed. Yes, I know, that sounds weird, but I find some things fascinating. He'd probably laugh at me, and tease me relentlessly if he knew, but I had my shield up again. No point causing him more anguish. I felt myself start to reach out to touch him, and stopped. I pulled back, and stood, walking back to my corner. I slid carefully down to the floor, and removed my leg, setting it next to the stool. Some things never change, I thought to myself, and chided myself for almost hurting him physically. I know what that feels like, having someone touch you when you're that sensitive, it's painful to the point of excruciating at times._

  
__

_I woke an hour later, not even realizing I'd drifted off (wondering if he put me to sleep again), and looked around, wondering what it was that woke me. I looked over to the Doctor, then saw him shudder; his pain was much worse now. I don't know if he groaned out loud or what, but I was awake again. Grabbing my leg, I carefully stood (which is really difficult in a prosthetic, but I didn't fancy trying to slide up the wall to stand), and walked quietly over to the bed. He made no sound, but I could tell by his shoulders that he was shuddering, trying so hard to not make any noise. Was that for my benefit, or for our captors, I wondered. I looked up at the camera facing his bed, and glared at it. I was so angry at these unknown mercs for hurting him, all I wanted to do was reach out through the cameras, and strangle each of them. I caught myself, took a deep breathe, and looked back down at the Doctor. I was hurting for him, yet I couldn't take his pain. I hated myself, hated my limited abilities. What use was it to restore energy to someone when I couldn't remove their pain? Couldn't heal their wounds? Useless. Like the rest of me. I hid my thoughts carefully, and reached out to gently touch his shoulder, using the lightest of touches with my fingertips. He leaned back slightly, perhaps surprised I was there, but I could tell that, even though that light touch was a little painful, he was grateful for my presence. I carefully moved my hand, and, without touching him, used my Healing sight to see how bad the pain was on his lower half. His feet, oddly enough, seemed to be ok; sensitive on top, and some on the bottom, but not as bad as his hands. His legs weren't as bad as I'd thought they'd be, but they will hurt. I knew there was only one way to relieve some of that pain, but I wasn't ready to deal with that myself. Although he tried to hide it from me, I knew he wasn't comfortable with the fact that he was shirtless in front of me. What I was considering proposing would bother him even more, even if it did help him..._


	5. Chapter 5

As I look back at the memory, I realize that I'd never have dreamed then of laying next to him as I'd just done. Even knowing he was sleeping didn't help, it just felt... Wrong somehow. I envied him, growing up as he had in a more accepting society. Or was it, really? I didn't know as much as I could, even he didn't know everything about his own society. But there were some things he'll never tell me, never tell anyone, and probably for the best. Some things are best left secret. I know they had moved beyond the limiting, pointless social qualms that come with genders and dating norms, having once told me about having dated men, women, even a robot once. I did my best to hide my amusement, but failed; it only served to make him smile, almost bashfully. How would we come out of this? Still friends, sure, but how long would the awkwardness last before I had to leave? How hard would that be, leaving him behind? I turned my head to look at him again, but my eyes no longer shed tears; I had cried myself out earlier. I loved him, more than as just a friend. He was many things to me, but only one of those things brought me the most grief emotionally. He was my friend, a mentor, sometimes like an older brother, sometimes like a father, which made me uncomfortable at times. He was cross with me at times, but never without reason. Sometimes he snapped at me, but if he wasn't cross with me, he'd usually apologize later. He tried very hard to be patient with me, but sometimes I couldn't keep up, and he'd get cross. Those times, though, he'd step away, using walking up the stairs to the upper walkway, and think. Once he'd calmed down, he'd come back down, and try again. He realized early on that sometimes it was how he tried to explain things to me that was the problem, so he'd try a differnt method of teaching. The biggest problem was my memory, but the TARDIS quickly proved to him that it wasn't my fault (actual brain damage from the accident itself), and was quick to remind him of this if he felt I should remember something, especially if it was simple. Usually, she just cheated and reminded me; the Doctor was annoyed the first time it happened, until he realized that it was easier than snapping at me. Now, he would just smile kindly, glad that I had made such a good friend of the TARDIS. But over the last week or so, I became aware of another feeling within me, one that scared me: love, romantic love. My mind tried to argue that he was far too old for me; even if he was human, he would be too old. But my heart had other ideas, and it's not like it's the first time I'd had a crush on an older guy, but it was different with him. He would never feel the same, or at least wouldn't admit it. And even if he did, the TARDIS told me what happened with his most recent companion, a lovely girl named Clara. Old Blue, as I called the TARDIS secretly, told me that she at first didn't like Clara, but in time grew to like her. But she couldn't understand her Doctor's feelings for the human, or for any he had grown to love in the past. She knew all about love as a friend, and although she didn't quite understand (she is still technically a machine after all, or at least partly), she accepted it as being ok. It was romance that confused her. But she saw how much Clara and the Doctor loved each other, so she made sure to remember for him, especially after he lost his memories of her. That hurt her a great deal, because she didn't like seeing him hurt like that, but figured maybe it was for the best. It had been shortly after losing his memories that she searched for someone who could help, a new companion. But it couldn't be just any old person, it had to be someone extra special, someone who would understand what he'd been through in the past, who would know he'd done many things he regretted and yet still love him for who he was. Who would give him comfort, who would make him laugh. Somehow, she found me, and I'm forever greatful. I just hope our friendship would survive this, because I don't think Old Blue could handle another "breakup", so to speak. He was as good for me as I was him. I glanced down at my stomach, and smiled, knowing I'd lost a bit of weight since I'd started traveling with him, as well as gaining back some of the strength I'd lost from being sedentary. It was great, traveling around the Universe, seeing all the wonders he was willing to show me. I wasn't ready to let that go, but I realized that one day, I would have to, not matter what happens. I closed my eyes, leaning my head against the wall again, not willing to go down that road of thought yet, allowing myself to think back to the last couple of hours, and how it led me to where I was currently... 

______________________________________________________

_**-It's getting worse, isn't it?-** I asked softly._

_****_ ****

**_-Yes, unfortunately. I don't know what more either of us can do, though.-_ **

__****

_**-I do, but you won't like it.-**_

__

_I hear him sigh, both physically and mentally. Impressive. I'd only ever done that myself a couple times, so it was strange to hear someone else do it._

_****_ ****

**_-We've already gone past things I wouldn't like, like being injected with this crap. So just tell me your idea, hey?-_ **

__

_I couldn't help it, I smirked. Just as I used humor to keep him going, he did the same to me. Especially when things were bad, or went dark. The first time I cracked a joke during a really bad situation, he looked like he wasn't sure whether to be horrified or angry. Once he realized what it was I'd actually said, he actually snickered, and then he and I spent the next 20 minutes laughing. It helped in the long run. After that, he and I talked about what happen; he wanted me to understand that, while humor is sometimes good to help lighten the mood, there was a time and place for it. So I learned to keep my wise cracks to myself. Only twice after that did he actually ask me to help make him laugh, because he was genuinely terrified, and needed something to help clear his head._

_****_

_**-Helloooo-** he says, in his odd singsong way._

_****_ ****

**_-Sorry, lost in thought-_ **

_****_ ****

**_-What else is new?-_ **

_****_ ****

**_-Shut up-_ **

__

_Snicker._

__

_I sighed, and my smile faded away._

_****_ ****

**_-The only thing that will help ease the pain now will be to remove the rest of your clothes. Well, at the least, your pants. Your socks don't need to come off, as your feet don't seem to be as effected as the rest of you.-_ **

__

_I waited. The silence was deafening._

_****_

_**-Absolutely not-** he snapped at me, mortified by the very idea._

_****_

_**-Oh come off it, Doctor. I know you don't like being unclothed any more than I do. But do you seriously want to keep suffering? That's the only other thing I can think of that's within either of our abilities.-** I retorted. I was trying hard not to snap at him like I had earlier, but sometimes it wasn't easy._

_****_

_**-No. End of discussion.-** he snapped back, but this time it was him that put up his shields, not me. I rolled my eyes, and shook my head. That was fine, I didn't expect him to do it. He certainly couldn't do it for himself now, his hands hurt too much. Which was odd, it was almost as if...._

__

_I sat up suddenly, and glanced at him. I grabbed my leg, engaged it, stood, and hobbled over to him. My ankle had started hurting again, and my ass didn't like the hard floor. I moved over to the bed, seeing his back to me again. I reached out towards him, without touching him, and did another scan, this of his hands. Technically, I didn't need to reach out towards him, much less stand. But I could give him healing energy while I did the scan. There! Whatever this stuff was, it was making his joints feel as though he had arthritis. That was new. And disturbing. How much more would this stuff do? I lowered my hand, thoughtful, and moved back to my spot._

_****_

_**-What?-** he said, tone a little bitter._

__

_**-What what?-** I replied, a little confused._

_****_ ****

**_-I just heard you stand up, and you behind me. What, thought you could force me to go along with your idea?-_ **

__

_I just stared at his back, too incredulous to reply right away._

_****_ ****

**_-Don't you DARE accuse me of forcing you to do anything. Ever. I goaded you earlier, but I did NOT force you to do ANYTHING. You know what, screw you. Now I won't tell you what I figured out. Now we'll both just suffer. Piss off-_** _I "shouted" out him, too hurt to care any more. I shielded once more, refusing to listen to him. My heart burned more than my eyes. I curled up in a ball on the floor, refusing to even acknowledge he was in the room anymore. To have anyone accuse me of trying to force them to do anything was bad enough, but for him to say it? It was like being told by your significant other that they only dated you because they felt sorry for you. I no longer worried about how I felt for him, because he just ripped that all up. Accuse me..._

**  
_________________________________________________________**

****

I'd almost forgotten about that, and that only happened about two hours ago. It's hard to stay angry when someone is in so much pain that they cry out loud enough to wake you from a dead sleep.

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_An hour had passed. I knew because I could feel it, and he told me it was, later, anyways. I hadn't realized I'd drifted off again until he cried out in agony. I shuddered, and closed my eyes, ignoring him. It was hard. I was so angry with him still, that it didn't bear thinking about._

_****_

_**-Alright, fine. You win. Please, help me. My legs are starting to feel like they're on fire-** he said softly. I was stunned. How had he gotten through my shields?_

_****_ ****

**_-I have learned a few tricks over the years. It's not easy, you've got the best shields of anyone I've ever met. I'm using my pain as a way to focus my thoughts, essentially broadcasting them to you.-_ **

__

_I could hear him shifting on the bed, trying to sit up. I grabbed my leg and stood, still angry but willing to help nonetheless. I tried to help him sit up, but I could tell it wasn't going to work. I motioned for him to stay still, and looked down at him. I wasn't sure anymore I wanted to do this, but it had to be done._

_****_

_**-I'm sorry about this...-** I say quietly, sadly._

**__** __

_**-It's ok, I trust you-** he replied weakly. I don't think my heart would recover from how broken it was becoming during all of this. I had him straighten out, and quickly unbuttoned his pants. Then I had him roll back on his side facing me._

_****_

_**-Lift you hip, please, that'll be easiest for me-** I said softly. When he had done so, I quickly pulled his pants down, leaving the boxers in place, and motioned again for him to rest. I carefully pulled the pants down the rest of the way, folding them carefully, adding them to the pile. He breathed heavily, eyes closed tightly with pain. I saw tears roll down his cheeks, but said nothing, instead opting to return to my corner. I sat up this time, thinking about everything that had lead up to this point, wondering how we'd ever recover. And whether we should..._


	6. Chapter 6

Thinking about it made me hurt again, but I allowed the pain to stay there. I grabbed my leg, but instead of putting it on, I hugged it to me, holding it like I might a stuffed toy. At first I didn't notice the difference. I just held the stupid thing, crying but shedding no more tears. It wasn't until a particularly heavy shudder caused the leg to shake, that I heard a faint rattle. Well, felt it more than heard it. I looked down at the metal piece that connected the plastic "cup" (where my leg goes in) to the foot. I shook the leg again, and realized that's where the sound came from. But how? Was it falling apart? As I took the shoe and socks off, I remembered something that had happened two weeks ago...

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__

_I sat on the metal chair, waiting, while the Doctor examined my leg. I prayed he wouldn't take it apart; the last thing I needed was him to mess up how it went back together. It wasn't unreasonable to say my life LITERALLY depended on it. But, he is the Doctor, and he does love to tinker. He scanned it with his sonic screwdriver, and pulled up a 3D model on the screen. Old Blue managed to create a simulation on how it's constructed. I was intrigued, to say the least, and a glance at the Doctor told me he just as intrigued and fascinated. He handed me back the leg, and I returned the stockings and shoe. I had a feeling he was going to "borrow" it next time I was sleeping._

__

_"Just promise that you'll put it back EXACTLY the way you have it, please. I'd rather not have you misplace something, and that thing collapsing on me..." I say, with a slightly pained expression. His eyes twinkle, but he puts on a mock offended expression._

__

_"I'd never even think about doing anything to your prosthetic."_

__

_"Yes you would, you can't resist the temptation!"_

_p >He merely chuckled, and gently flicked the end of my nose in response. I sigh, knowing that he'll mess with the leg at some point. What he'll do, and when, I had no clue, but he'd do something. He doesn't just simply take things apart, he tinkers with them. So I dreaded what he'd do to my leg..._

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I finally got down to the stem, and noticed that there was what appeared something like a sliding door. I slid the door open, and stared in shock at what I found. I bent over the leg, trying to hide the compartment from the cameras. There, nestled in the leg, was a small sonic screwdriver. Not just any screwdriver, it was one I know for a fact he'd created for me after he saw how talented I was with his own. As I carefully palmed the beautiful sonic, I remember the day he started building it...

______________________________________________________

__

_I could hear a tapping sound, coming from under the console floor. Curious, I went downstairs, and found the Doctor at his work bench. I cough lightly, alerting him to my presence, and he motions for me to come around to the bench. I had no idea what he was doing, so I just watched as he worked. Whatever it was, it was incredibly complex. I love watching him work, and nothing was more impressive than watching him working with small components, especially considering he has long fingers. He finished his welding, and turned to look at me. I wasn't expecting to see a tinkerer's eyepiece on his face, which gave him a strange, bug eyed look. I started, leaning back in surprise, which surprised him a little, until I tapped the corner of my eye. His eyes widened as he realized what I was talking about, and removed the headpiece._

__

_"Sorry, I forget those things make me look strange." he says, and smiles._

__

_"So, what are you working on?"_

__

_"A new sonic screwdriver"_

__

_"Um... Why? You have two sonics already, what do you need another one for?"_

__

_He turns back to the workbench, and gentle caresses the base he's already got set up._

__

_"Oh, you'll see" he says cryptically, and goes back to working._

__

_I didn't stick around for long, going back to my room to finish the book I'd spent three days reading._

__

_I must have dozed off, because a light knock on the door woke me. I mumbled something, and saw the Doctor open the door, holding a box in his hand. He was smiling gently, but I could see the excitement in his eyes._

__

_"Here, Liz, this is for you" he says, holding out the box, which I take. I can tell he's excited, and eager for me to open the box._

__

_I smile, and stall a little. I love teasing him like that, and he does it to me a lot too. Finally, after a couple minutes, I can see he's becoming a little agitated, so I relent. I open the box, and a beautiful, clockwork designed sonic screwdriver, designed like his, with a large, purple crystal at the tip. I started to tear up, and I threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. He protested slightly, then finally returned the hug._

__

_"Thank you. It's wonderful" I say, face buried in his shoulder. Damn tall people... But he smelled nice, and I was reluctant to move. But I did pull away, feeling suddenly slightly embarrassed. He said nothing, but smiled broadly._

______________________________________________________

I hugged the sonic close to me, suddenly coming up with a plan. I quickly put the leg back together, hoping none of what I did was seen on the cameras. I couldn't give away my secret, not until I was ready. Sticking the sonic in the only place I knew would be safe (no, not where you think), I walked back over to the bed. I knew he was awake again, I could hear it in his breathing.

**__** __

_**-May I lay down, too?-**_ I ask, afraid he'd say no. Unspoken words and feelings surfaced, for both of us, only to be ruthlessly shoved down.

**__** __

_**-Yeah, sure-**_ he replied, mental voice shaded with pain, anger, and anguish. Apparently he'd been lost in his own thoughts.

I take my leg and liner off, and lay down on the bed, careful not to touch him.

_****_

_**-So, I see you tinkered with my leg after all-**_ I say softly, letting my surprise and amusement tinge my mental voice. I heard him chuckle slightly, and felt him wince.

_****_

_**-Oh yeah.... I'd almost forgotten I'd done it...-**_ he stopped, then shifted so he was facing me, his eyes wide open now.

Reaching for the sonic, I put it in my hand, and reached out my other hand to him. He took it, and I gently sandwiched his hand between mine, sonic pressing against his palm. He smiled, genuinely happy for the first time since we became stuck in this room, in this situation.

****

**_-I'm glad you found it. I was so caught up in what was going on, I'd forgotten I'd done that. I meant to surprise you earlier, but I got sidetracked.-_** he said softly, his thumb caressing my hand.

__

_**-It was a wonderful surprise, thank you.-**_ I reply, sending him a beam of emotion made purely of love. I can't stay angry at him for long, no more than he can with me. I know there would be a reckoning when we were done, but for now I was just happy to be here, with him. He closed his eyes, and I felt a rush of pure emotion from him, love so strong it almost hurt. I gasped, shocked at it's intensity; I was also shocked at what I feeling from him. I almost dared to hope that it was the same as me, but I shoved that thought away.

We lay like that for several minutes, until he moved his hand away slightly, grasping the handle of the sonic. He kept his hand, with the sonic, hidden under my hands. I felt him link with it, but I also felt him waiting.

_****_

_**-This will be fast, Liz, so you need to be prepared. I'll sonic the cameras, and you grab my clothes. I'll summon the TARDIS outside this room, and we'll leave. I will need your help to get there, however.-**_ he said, pain lacing his mental voice so much that I hurt for him.

_****_

_**-Ok, Doctor. You tell me when-**_ I reply, caressing the top of his hand with my thumb. His skin is warm, almost flushed, and that worries me. He usually always has slightly cool hands, not surprising since his body tempurature is lower than a human, but his felt like someone with a fever. Not good. He tries to smile for me, but the pain makes that difficult.

_****_ ****

**_-Go ahead and sit up, and put your leg back on. Once you do, gently pat my hand, and I'll know to sonic the cameras.-_ **

**__** __

_**-Would it be easier if you were sitting up?-** _

**__** __

_**-I don't know. It might make it too obvious what I'm doing, too.-** _

_****_

_**-Hmm. Good point.-** _

I sit up and put on my liner and leg, sitting on the edge of the bed. As instructed, I gently pat his hand. I see him nod, and watch his hand move to the corners of the room. I can tell they're disabeld, when suddenly an alarm starts going off. I grab our stuff, ready to run at his signal, and return to help him sit and stand. It was slow going, and painful for both of us, but we made it to the door, which he unlocked by the time the familiar wheezing, grinding sound sounded in the hallway. We hobbled slowly to the TARDIS, fear overriding any pain either of us was feeling, fear that any second the guards would round the corners and shoot... I barely had time to open the door before I saw the flash out of the corner of my eye, and I swear time slowed as the bullet came flying towards us. I pushed him through the door, threw the clothes just inside the door, and waited. But the impact never happened. I opened my eyes, and looked, my eyes opening wide in surprise: the bullet had caught on the edge of the shield around the TARDIS. Thanking her silently, I stepped inside, and barely had time to shut the door before she started took off. I saw the Doctor on the floor, probably because I had to push him inside, so he wouldn't get hit. I stumbled a little as she took off, but I righted myself, and made my way to him, using that time to explain things as fast as possible to her.

_****_

_**-I'm sorry, but I don't have time to be gentle, Doctor, I need to get you standing so I can help you to the Zero Room. Yes, I know all about it, she told me about the various rooms she's made, and what she still has. She'll need to do a blood analysis on you, because the sonic couldn't determine what you were injected with, so we'll need to stop at the console long enough to give the sample-**_ I told him, carefully helping him stand.

I hated hurting him, but we didn't have time to do it the slow, gentle way. By the time we even made it to the console, he was shaking from the pain, from holding back crying out loud, but he kept going, letting me help him, leaning on me as we walked. The floors are metal, and not very nice on feet, so I'm told; I wouldn't know, I am always wearing shoes. We stop at a section of the console, where he places his hand down on a scanning unit, and winces slightly when the samples were taken, and motions for us both to continue on. I wish I was strong enough to lift him, it would have made this easier, on both of us, but all I could do was offer him stability walking. I almost snickered at the irony of that thought, but I shoved it down deep; now wasn't the time for joking, even if it would've at least fit.

A few minutes later, we finally made it to the room in question, which didn't look like much to me, but I trusted they both knew what they were doing. I knew he was at the end of whatever energy he'd had, so I sent as much reiki energy into him as I could, as I helped him over to what appeared to be some kind of scanning unit, one that you stood up for, but it was strangely shaped.

**__**

_**-You need to close the curved handles there, off the sides. Yes, those. The unit will take care of the rest.-**_ he said weakly.

**__**

**_-What is this, exactly?-_** I asked as I made sure the arms were securely locked.

**_-You'll see-_** he said, smiling faintly, briefly, before grimacing again.

Not sure what to expect, I stepped back, and watched as he suddenly started floating. I was shocked, and slightly jealous!

**__** __

_**-Whoa! It's a zero g chamber! How cool!-**_ I exclaimed, coming to touch the unit, and wasn't surprised to find a forcefield in place.

**__** __

_**-Yes. It also can act as a stasis chamber, suspended animation as it were. I need to go into a healing trance, and I don't know how long I'll be out, so...-**_ he said, trailing off as a wave of pain and deep sadness hit him.

**__**

**_-So, what? What's wrong?-_** I ask, suddenly afraid for the worst.

**__**

**_-Come here a moment, closer-_ **

I stood right in front of the arms, and was surprised when he was able to reach out and take my hand. Although weak, his grip was still strong, sending feelings of guilt, pain, anger, sadness, and love. I was scared, more than I should be, but usually this is when I find out the worst possible news.

**__** __

_**-You'll be in charge of the TARDIS.-**_ he started, then paused, and smirked. **_-Well, technically, she doesn't NEED anyone in charge of her, but you know what I mean.-_**

**__** __

_**-What do I need to do? And what about you?-** _

**__** __

_**-There's really nothing you need to do for her, and there's nothing you can do for me except wait. There's not even a guarantee that the trance will work, but I need to try it. Work with her to find out what I was injected with, and see if you can't find a way to reverse it, or even cure it, please.-**_ he said, squeezing my hand weakly one last time, and brought his arm back in to lay next to him. I knew at that moment he was asleep, but it was more like he was in a coma.

"I love you, Doctor. So you'd better come back to me... I can't do this alone. I don't want to do this alone." I said softly, surprised to feel tears falling down my face. I thought I'd cried myself dry, but I was wrong.


	7. Chapter 7

A full week passed before we got anywhere, and it wasn't for lack of trying. I stayed in the room with him the first day, leaving only after Old Blue insisted that I needed to rest, and eat. I did so, reluctantly, and was right back in the room as soon as I'd gotten up the next day. Half way through the second day, I realized this would be an effort in futility, so I wandered back to the control room. I was out of my depth, and I couldn't do anything about that. I did manage to convince the TARDIS to take me back to my house, parking behind the garage, just in case visitors showed up. I knew she'd make sure to let me know if anything happened while I was out, so I busied myself with chores. The time passed a little quicker that way, but I didn't sleep well at night. Even having my best friend come visit didn't help shake my mood, but at least he had tried. Finally, fed up with packing up boxes, I gathered some more of my things, and went back into the TARDIS. I knew she'd not made any headway with a cure, but she was close to figuring out what the stuff had been. Close was good, but I was still depressed.

After getting a good shower, and a decent lunch, I made my back to the zero room, hoping he'd be awake, and I could talk to him. I knew it wasn't to be, but I can always wish. As I sat there, reading on my Kindle, I looked up when I heard him moan. I know that was the first time he'd done that, and that meant he was waking up. I was excited, but I knew better than to get my hopes up, in case his trance hadn't worked. I stood and waited, smiling as I saw him open his eyes. The blue in them seemed even deeper than usual, and I could see the age in them; not physical age, but that he was a very old soul. I love his eyes, which are so much like mine, just more blue than mine, and without the odd red streaks on top. He tried to smile, but it faded fast, and I knew then it hadn't worked. I hung my head, saddened deeply, but was startled when I felt his hand on my shoulder. I could see how much pain he was in, and that, although it hadn't gotten worse, it hadn't gotten better either.

 ** _-It's ok, Elizabeth, we'll figure out something else. It might be better to put me into stasis, that way you can take as much time as you need to figure this out.-_** he said, smiling faintly.

**__** __

_**-We may not have that much time.... I may not have that much time-** _

**__** __

_**-I know... But you can always try...-**_ he said, squeezing my shoulder. I placed my hand on his, then pulled his hand up to my face. I cradled his hand, rubbing my cheek against it, tears rolling down my cheeks.

**__** __

_**-I missed you-**_ I said, glad that my mental voice can't break. He cupped my cheek, rubbing his thumb across my cheekbone, tears forming in his own eyes.

**__** __

_**-I missed you too. I knew you'd come to visit several times, even though I was deep in trance. That's what gave me the strength to keep going.-** _

I broke down, crying against his hand, then placing a gentle kiss on his palm. He smiled broadly this time, and it made me want to hold him that much more, but I knew that wouldn't be wise.

**__**

**_-My dear, it's time. I would like to spend more time with you, but the pain is too much for me. I need to have the TARDIS activate the stasis. Please-_** he said, unashamed that he too was now crying. I kissed his palm one last time, and released his hand. He pulled his hand back in, and closed his eyes. I watched a screen appear on the arms, and saw the command for the stasis to activate.

**__** __

_**-I love you-**_ came across so faintly, I almost didn't hear it. But the flood of love I felt from him sure made it clear. I watched as a pale beam of light flooded over him, and he became rigid, frozen in time. I sat back down on the chair, and cried. How long I was like that, I don't know, but I didn't care. That was the first time I'd ever heard him say it, even in a friendly way. I'd felt feelings of love from him, but before the priates, it was just friendly, and I always felt the same. It wasn't until we was injected, and I had to help take care of him, that the feelings became more romantic than originally. I wasn't ready for that change, and I wasn't sure if I ever would be, despite what had happened.

______________________________________________________

Days turned into weeks, turned into months, and we were no closer to an answer. I hardly slept anymore, and had lost more weight than I thought was safe. But I refused to give up, I wouldn't stop until I had the answer. Two weeks after he'd gone into stasis, I decided we needed a new tactic, a new direction. So we went in search of chemists, alchemists, anyone who might be able to understand what the substance was. The TARDIS had been able to extract the chemical makeup of the poison from the samples taken, and we made copies for me to take with me. In a way, I'm glad the Doctor wasn't around, because I'd had to do some things he would't have liked. Picked up habits I never expected to get, and apparently later earned a bit of a repuatation. I was careful, but eventually people came to recognize me when I came around. At least I didn't tarnish the reputation of the Doctor, so he can't be angry for that. It took a long time, and a lot of persuasion (sometimes intimidation), but we finally found out what the poison was, and where it came from. Trouble was, no one knew who actually made it, or how it was distributed, much less why. The only thing I really learned was that it was originally used as an aphrodisiac for some species of alien I'd never heard of, and that it caused more problems for some species than others. Apparently, it was one of the few things that did absolutely nothing to humans, which was rather surprising. After my latest trip to some seedy, black market area, I felt more disappointed than ever; this was going nowhere. No one seemed to know if there was any way to reverse the effects, nor if there was a cure, although some thought that stasis was the easiest way to stop the effects from getting worse.

I sigh as I enter the TARDIS, pulling the hood back off my head, removing the gloves from my hands, and stuffing them in my jacket. A light smile crosses my face as I see a sandwich and a thermos of something, probably coffee, sitting on the console. I never know how she does it, but somehow she always manages to make me food and drink, and has it waiting when I return from a mission. It's almost like there's hidden servants running around... Glancing around, I don't see anything odd, but I really wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

"Thanks, milady" I say as I grab the sandwich, and start eating. She beeps in reply, then asks how the mission went. I feel her in, glad that I can talk to her mentally, so I don't talk with my mouth full. The memory of the apple comes to mind, and I feel sad again. But, forcing myself to focus, I share my findings with her, and she shares her disappointment with me. We don't know what to do; knowing how the chemical is made is one thing, but one one seems to know how to...

***beep***

We are interrupted by a loud beep, which repeats two more times, meaning a message was incoming. I click accept, and was pleasantly surprised to see one of the first chemists I'd visited. Although recorded, his message, brief though it was, said he may have some up with a cure; or, at the very least, something that should be able to decrease the conditions. I should be overjoyed, but I'd learned a long time ago never take anything at face value. I figured it would be a trap, but I wouldn't let the possible opportunity pass by. The biggest problem would be landing without being seen or heard. I couldn't risk getting close again, even with the precautions the TARDIS had. I looked at a map of the area where I was told to me the guy, and decided on the best place to land. It would take me some time to get to the meetup location, but I didn't want anyone trying to steal Old Blue. I looked up a weather chart, and gathered my gear accordingly. I know I should've waited, taking a nap, but I didn't feel right sleeping while the Doctor was in stasis. I set the coordinates in, and we headed off. I grabbed the gun I'd acquired during one meeting, and placed it and another clip of bullets in the holster. The Doctor would hate what I'd become, but I'm sure he'd understand.

Once we landed, I did one last check to make sure I had everything, and left the TARDIS, locking it behind me. I knew there was no one around, at least not that we could see, but I still looked around anyways. It took several minutes to get to the RV point, but I was glad I took the precaution. As I neared the area, I used a set of specially designed binoculars to do a sweep of the area; no surprise, I found at least 10 people with heavy duty guns, hiding out of view, waiting for trouble. I had no such backup myself, except that I'd fixed the teleporter in the TARDIS; not sure what happened to it, and I don't even think the Doctor had ever used it, but I repaired it on one of the stops. I made my way down the hill carefully, wondering how long before the chemist saw me. I got to within 5 feet of him before he even knew I was there; sloppy work, I thought to myself. "Oh Goddess, I didn't even hear you arrive! I was looking for that blue box you had last time you showed up." the man said, a little too brightly. I knew it was a lie from the start. I knew he was an athiest, and that he hadn't seen me with the TARDIS when we met. So he knew who I was, and it didn't take much asking around to figure out what the blue box was, and who usually had it.

"Yeah, sorry, I took the scenic route. Lovely area, don't you think?" I asked, looking around casually. The man laughed nervously, wiping his palms on his pants. They looked new, made of material similar to that of the combat uniforms of the military back on Earth, and that told me everything I needed to know.

"So, here's what I have: I'm not entirely sure it'll work, so I'll need to test it on the patient myself, and take readings. So if you'll.." he never finished the sentence before I had my knife to his throat. Quick as a flash, I slipped behind him, and put the knife again to his throat, turning in a circle, whispering harshly in his ear.

"If you think I'm stupid enough to let you anywhere NEAR the patient, you're a bigger fool than I thought originally. You'll give me the vial, and I'll do the tests myself. And just to ensure my safety, you'll come with me, just far enough out of the line of sight. Yes, I know about your 10 snipers, and that's only the ones I could see. Your pants are new, and not the kind normally used by civilians around this part of the universe. So I know you either sold out, or were bought out. Either way, you are a traitor and deserve to be killed. But the patient would not like it if I did that, so I'll be nice, and let you live. This time. Nod if you understand me," I rasped in his ear. He nodded, scared for his life, the stench of fear emanating off of him; I should feel disgust, but I understood.

We slowly made our way up to hill, slowly turning in circles so that the snipers couldn't shoot me in the back. I sent a message to the TARDIS, telling her to prepare to teleport me, and leave immediately. Once we were up the hill, I hit the guy in the back of the head hard enough to knock him out, flicked off the military guys I saw running towards me, and laughed as I teleport away. I hadn't even taken a step before she was off, and I stumbled down the steps to sit on one of the chairs. My ankle hurt, my stump was throbbing, but we had a lead. I pulled the vial out of my pocket, looking at the liquid inside. I didn't know if this would do anything, but it was better than nothing. Without even having to say anything, Old Blue uncovered a port where I could put the vial, so she could run tests on it. I never understood how she did it without breaking the seal, but it was fantastically impressive nonetheless.

"I'm going to shower and rest. I know that'll take some time to analyze, so I'll be back in a few hours. Thank you for the rescue," I said as I walked towards my room. She beeped a simple reply, already concentrating on the analysis.

Four hours later, feeling only slightly refreshed, I made my way back to the control room.

**__** __

_**-Whatever this is, it's not a poison. At least, not like you would understand. I ran simulations, and it does appear to be able to cure the problem.-**_ she said to me, but I heard the hesitation in her voice.

**__** __

_**-You're worried, just like I am. We don't know if it will even work, or if it'll make things worse. It could trigger a regen cycle, or even kill him.-** _

**__** __

_**-But if he dies, he would regen.-** _

**__** __

_**-No, you told me that doesn't always work. There are ways for Time Lords to stay dead even if they have regen cycles left.-** _

**__** __

_**-Oh, yes, you're right.-**_ I heard the sadness in her voice. I hurt just thinking about it.

**__** __

_**-The fact is, we need to decide if this is a risk either of us are will to take.-** _

**__**

**_-You might want to prepare yourself for the worse possible outcome.-_ **

**__** __

_**-Hehe, Blue, you've been around ME too long! I don't care if it causes him to regen, I can handle that. But I know neither of us could handle losing him for good. You and I both know what he'd tell us to do, if we were to wake him to ask. He'd say it's worth the risk. I'm just not so sure it is. Tell me, do you think you could create a compound that could neutralize that one, in case it starts to go bad? Or would it be too late by then?-** _

**__**

**_-I'm not sure I could, and I think it would be too late to use it anyways. I'm sorry, Elizabeth.-_ **

**__**

**_-It's ok, milady. It was worth asking. Well, I guess I'd better head down to the zero room. Should I wake him first, or just inject him?-_ **

**__** __

****

**__** __

_**-Good idea.-** _

I enter the room, glad that it, at least, hadn't changed the whole time. 6 months had passed since I placed him in there, and he hadn't changed. For that, I was grateful. I made sure to come in at least once a day to see him, even if he couldn't sense me. I cleaned it at least once a week, even though Blue told me once I didn't need to, she made sure to keep it clean and sanitized, but I told her I do it just to have something else to do. By now, I knew how to operate the stasis unit, so I didn't need to ask Blue to do it for me. I just hoped I wasn't too late; we didn't know if it would progress rapidly once he was woken. At least I get to say goodbye, I think to myself, then squash the thought as his vital signs show him waking. It took a couple minutes before he even actually woke, but I knew that would happen; he was essentially in a form of cryosleep, just without the freezing aspect. His eyes opened slowly, and it took a bit to even focus, but when he finally realized I was there, his smile melted the ice I'd placed on my heart.

**__** __

_**-Hello!-**_ he said, almost merrily, and I smiled in kind. I waited, wanting to see how long it took...

**__** __

_**-Hold on, did you do something to your hair?-**_ he ask finally, looking confused. I laughed softly, and smiled gently at him.

**__** __

_**-You could say that.-** _

**__**

**_-How long has it been?-_** he asked, and I could tell already the pain was starting to catch back up.

**__** __

_**-6 months-**_ I said solemnly. He didn't reply, couldn't, he was shocked. I don't think he realized he couldn't keep track of time when he was taken out it.

-We found something, something we think is a cure. Problem is, the person who gave it to me had dealings with some bad people, so we don't know if it'll even work. It's possible it is a cure, and he was contracted to act as bait. It's also possible it'll make things worse. Best case scenario, it works. Worst case, it kills you. Permenantly. No regens. You might be cured of the pain side and lose subsequent regens. Or, it might not to anything. That's the problem. We wanted to wake you, in case...-

**__** __

_**-In case it does kill me. You wanted to be sure you said goodbye.-**_ he replied, softly, sadly. I nodded, not trusting my words.

**__** __

_**-Then let me out of this chamber, so I can hold you, first. Please. If nothing else, I want to hug you one last time.-** _

I nodded, tears slowly falling down my face. It made sense, but I almost wanted to break the vial. I didn't want to even think about the idea of losing him. I couldn't. I waited until the system slowly set him back down, and the forcefield dropped before opening the arms. He stumbled a little, but I knew he wouldn't be weak from lack of movement; that was the beauty of such units, it suspended them without loss of muscle mass. I moved to help him immediately, helping him to hobble over to the medical table in the corner. He sat down, and breathed deeply, then smiled at me. I didn't wait, I put my arms around him, laying my head on his chest, crying. He held me, gently caressing my hair, ignoring the growing pain from the hypersensitivity. Once I'd cried myself out, he lifted my head, and leaned down to kiss me. It was gentle, sweet, kind, almost timid. I returned the kiss, much more passionately than he'd given me. I feared losing him so much that I didn't want to take time to be gentle.

**__** __

_**-Hush, my dear, you won't lose me. I promise. I'll always be here for you.-**_ he replied, twining his fingers in my hair. There was certainly something to be said for telepathy, it made kissing much easier. I felt him smile under the kisses, although he continued to kiss me, growing more and more bold the longer we held each other. Finally, I had to pull away, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. I knew what would happen if I let things go too far, and I wasn't ready for that, not yet, not knowing how much pain he was in. Even I know what pain does to the mood...

I loaded the vial into the hypospray until, but hesitated; I didn't know if I could do it. He quietly placed his hand over mine, guiding my hand over to his arm. He nodded, and I pressed the button to inject him. I'd say the worst was over, but it wasn't, not for me. I didn't know how long we needed to wait before we knew if it would work, so I sat beside him on the bed. He put his arm around me, and I laid my head on shoulder. He still smelled good to me, even after everything, although there was an odd mustiness that I figured must've come from poison. The stuff must work quickly, because I felt his hand tighten, and his breath quicken. I tried to move away, but he didn't let go, although whether that was because of pain, or because he didn't want me to actually move, I don't know. Next thing I knew, his grip loosened, and he fell over against me. Fearing the worst, I checked his pulse, glad to see he was merely asleep. I slid off the table, and carefully arranged him so that he could rest. Although there hadn't been a medical table in here originally, I got Old Blue to put one in, one that could double as a single sized bed, so that I could rest in there. I grabbed a blanket from one of the drawers under the table, and tucked it in around him, turning off the lights as I left the room. Now it was simple a matter of waiting, seeing if the stuff actually worked. Once again, time was not our friend, because no one knew how long it would take. Nor did we know how he'd be after all of this. If we were lucky, it would cure him, and he would have no adverse effects.

Thinking on that, I decided to go make some soup for us for later; if he did survive, even if he had no regen cycles left, he'd probably be hungry and thirsty. I was a little surprised to hear the sound of liquid pouring as I entered the kitchen, and looked over to the drink dispenser. An oddly viscous liquid slopped into a cup, one I didn't recognize. When I moved over to smell it, however, the smell was musty, and not pleasant.

"Um, Blue, I think you need to get your systems checked, that liquid smells awful."

**__** __

_**-That's because it's a highly specialized nutritional drink, designed for Gallifreyans. I'm told that, while it doesn't taste great, it's not the worst thing, and to them, it has little to no smell.-** _

**__**

**_-Lucky them-_** I retorted, smiling when I heard her laugh. I really did like her, and I would be sad when it was time to go. But even I knew that, no matter what happened to the Doctor, there would come a time when I would have to leave. But I wasn't going to go without a fight.

I left the soup on low to simmer. while I returned to my room. I decided to change into something lighter, softer, in case his sensitivity problem was still there, if he survived. I didn't know how long I should wait, but I knew the soup wouldn't be done for at least a couple of hours, so I decided to take a nap. Sleep never hurt anyone.

Two hours later, Old Blue woke me, letting me know the soup was ready, and suggested that I go ahead and pour out bowels. She couldn't answer how he was, only that he was still asleep, but we agreed he'd been asleep long enough. Taking a couple moments to brush my hair, I went to the kitchen and ladled out two bowels. I grabbed some crackers and bread, a drink for myself, and his nutrient drink (which she assured me was still good, it wouldn't go bad, and didn't need to be cold to be drunk), and went down to the Zero Room. The door opened in front of me, making me snicker, thinking anyone who didn't know would've freaked out; Blue was also doing silly things like that to others, trying to scare them. It made me laugh, and the Doctor would just sigh when he was around, but secretly he enjoyed their reactions too.

I sat the tray down on a medical table I had put in the room, for just this purpose, and wheeled it over to the table. I checked his pulse, glad to see it was still there, and was strong. Gently I woke him, and was rewarded with a smile upon seeing my face. "I figured you'd slept long enough, and thought you might be hungry. I made us both some soup, and brought some crackers and bread. Oh, and Old Blue made this for you" I said aloud, handing him the cup. He looked down at it, sniffed it, and made a sound of disgust. It only dawned on me at that point I hadn't thought to bring him something else to drink; oh well, he could have my water while I ran back for more.

It didn't take long to return, by which time he'd finished drinking the stuff, and the look of disgust, almost akin to horror, on his face was too much; I started laughing. He glared at me, but when he realized why I was laughing, he started laughing too. It had been a long time since I'd heard him laugh, it was like a cool balm on sunburnt skin.

Even though I knew he didn't like being helped, I still insisted on helping him eat, at least at first, until he was feeling stronger. We ate together in silence, just simply enjoying each other's company. The worries of the past no longer mattered to me. We had changed, and I no longer feared to what end. He was alive, that's all I really cared about. We would take things one day at a time. But we would do it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still working on the second part, but I'm stuck trying to figure out the history of the poison. Any thoughts from my readers would be appreciated!


End file.
